Alice Winchester and Her Brothers
by TypewriterMonkey11
Summary: Alice is Sam's twin sister, and Dean's always taken care of them. AR of the dreaded sisterfic kind! I update this summary a lot.
1. Chapter 1

**Wehey bros I decided my other sisterfic didn't have enough spoonbending possibilities so here we are. Disclaimer: sadly I do not own SPN.**

* * *

_Sam was arguing with Dean at his dorm at Stanford. Dean seemed to be trying to get Sam to help find dad._

_"I swore I was done hunting for good" Sam was saying_

_"Come on, it wasn't easy, but it wasn't that bad" Dean shook his head._

_"Yeah? When I told dad when I was scared of the thing in my closet he gave me a .45" Sam snapped._

_The scene changed._

_Sam was driving down Centennial Highway while on the phone with Dean._

_"Fake 911 phone call? I dunno that's pretty illegal." Dean laughed._

_"You're welcome." Sam deadpanned._

_"Listen, we gotta talk." Dean said._

_"Yeah tell me about it," Sam sighed. "So the husband was unfaithful, we're dealing with a Woman In White. She's buried behind her old house. So that should've been dad's next stop."_

_"Well, that's what I'm trying to tell you," Dean began. "Dad left Jericho."_

_The scene changed again._

_"I can never go home." The woman breathed, staring at a run down house._

_"You're scared to go home." Sam said like he was having an epiphany._

_The woman was suddenly straddling Sam._

_"Hold me, I'm so cold." She whispered._

_"You. Can't. Do. This. To me," Sam growled "I'm not unfaithful, I never have."_

_"You will be." Ghost girl purred. Sam tried to throw her off, but she became annoyed and dug her fingers into his chest. They pierced through his skin and Sam let out a tortured scream._

"Dean!" I screamed, bolting awake. Dean ran over to me and hugged me, rubbing my back and trying to calm me down. I was twenty-two for pete's sake! I shouldn't be waking up and needing someone to comfort me while I had a panic attack. But that was how it was and how it had been ever since Sammy and my 22nd birthday five months ago.

"What happened?" He asked, pushing me away and gripping me by the shoulders.

"N-nightmare," I stuttered. "S-sammy. D-danger." I had a lot of trouble speaking when I was scared, probably because I had trouble breathing.

"Are you sure?" He demanded.

I couldn't stutter out a response, so I just nodded. I was having even more trouble breathing so Dean handed me my inhaler. I inhaled the medicine greedily, and pretty soon my lungs were opening up and I could breathe almost ten times better.

"Dad called a while ago, said he was going down to Jericho for a case." Dean said nonchalantly. I snapped my head up.

"Jericho California?" I inquired.

"Yeah, why? That mean something to you?" He pressed.

"That's where he went missing, in my nightmare." I mumbled.

"Oh. Well I'm sure he'll be alright. It's just a dream kiddo, doesn't mean anything." He assured me.

I nodded, but I didn't really believe him, especially considering my dreams were coming true, even though I hadn't told him that.

We were in Georgia, making sure a Salt & Burn had gone right when Dean heard about the hurricane in Louisiana.

"C'mon dude, let's go help out, but I swear to God, if you breathe a word of this to Sam or dad, I'll kill you." He snapped, sliding into the driver's seat.

"Yeah yeah I know tough guy." I chuckled.

"You wanna pick the cassette?" He offered.

"Sure, how about some Zepplin?" I suggested, holding up our favorite tape.

"See this is why you were always my favorite sibling." Dean joked, popping the tape into the player.

I just chuckled slightly as music filled the car.

"Oh my God here it is!" I yelped as Ramble On started.

"Leaves are fallin' all around!" Dean sang, slightly off key.

"Time I was on my way!" I grinned.

"Thank you I'm much obliged, for such a, pleasant stayyyy!" He belted.

"For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and it's headed my way!" We chorused. I burst out laughing, it was times like these that I lived for, driving down the road with my family, classic rock blasted way too loud. It was what made the job bearable. That, and the fact that we saved people every day.

It took about six hours to get to New Orleans, and you could tell the hurricane had completely devastated the state. Dean pulled the car over when we got near a volunteer tent, and we got out. The hurricane had struck two months ago, so there weren't as many people at the volunteering efforts as there might've been back then. We stuck around for a few weeks, helping to rebuild homes and distribute food and clothes to the victims that were somehow still there. Dean was especially good with the kids, and getting them to feel a little better about what had happened. I don't know how he did it, but by the time we got the call from dad with the EVP on it, kids were flocking to him.

We'd been out building a house when dad called, so it had gone to voice-mail. Luckily this meant we could run it through a Gold Wave and take out the hiss. Dad had said something big was starting to happen.

"Alright, let's go pick up Sammy from college." Dean sighed, smacking his hands against the roof of the car.

"Uh. Okay?" I chuckled.

"What? What's so funny?" He asked, sitting in the driver's seat.

"Well, he kinda ditched us for Stanford, and hasn't talked to us in two years, and you want to just waltz up to Palo Alto and expect him to go with us to find dad?" I snorted.

"He's family." Dean said simply, blasting Metallica throughout the car, which I took as a ban on all conversation.

It was a day and a half of driving for us, even with Dean and me at the wheel. We drove like bats out of hell.

* * *

"Hey, Alice, wake up, I need to take a break from driving." Dean grumbled as he swatted my shoulder. I sat full attention and he pulled the car to the side of the road.

"You need to sleep more Dean, it was my turn like a hundred miles back." I sighed, rolling my eyes. Dean may have been my older brother, and may have taken care of me my entire life, but that didn't mean I couldn't worry about him.

"Yeah yeah, shut up I'll be fine." He muttered as he swapped seats with me.

I was glad for my little nap before taking the wheel because it meant I was wide awake. Every once in a while I'd look over at Dean to make sure he was asleep, which he always was. Unless he was having nightmares Dean would always sleep as long as possible.

I kept at the road for about nine hours before we entered California and I started to feel tired. We only had about seven hours left in the drive, so that was progress. Dean had insisted on taking the bigger chunks, saying that I needed to rest, but I could tell part of it was that he was worried about how Sam would take us showing up out of the blue. Back in Nevada, I'd tried calling him, but he didn't pick up like usual.

"S'mmy." Dean mumbled in his sleep. He was always doing that, mumbling names or places under his breath while he slept. Usually Stanford and Sammy, but if dad was gone for a while without contacting us he might say something about that.

It was almost eight in the evening when I finally gave in and made Dean take the wheel back.

"You should've woken me up sooner, you're exhausted." He complained.

"So did you asshole." I snapped. I was so tired that I really wasn't up for Dean's self-sacrificing bullshit.

"Fine." He scoffed, throwing his hands up in surrender.

I slept until the car stopped seven hours later, feeling better, though still a little tired.

"We're here." Dean announced.

"Yeah thanks Captain Obvious." I grumbled, pulling out the hip flask Bobby'd given me for my 21st birthday and taking a sip. The stuff was bitter, and burned my throat on the way down, but at least it helped with the emotional pain my nightmares caused. Considering my job was to hunt monsters, it was pretty par for the course.

"No need to be rude Al!" He scoffed.

We walked up to the apartment where we knew Sam was living, and knocked on the door, but there was no answer.

"Maybe he's at a party," I suggested. "It is Halloween in three days."

"Yeah, maybe. Doesn't seem like him though. Unless his girlfriend made him," Dean chuckled. "I hope they're still together Jess is _awesome_."

"Yeah she's pretty cool." I agreed. We'd only met Jessica a handful of times, but she and Dean were so alike in some ways that I really wasn't surprised that they'd gotten along so well.

"You know, it is kinda late," He began. "Maybe they're asleep?"

"Yeah probably, let's go get a motel room." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"You go sit in the car, I need to check something out." He replied absently, waving me to the car. I shuffled back in and sat in the car a good ten minutes before I realized something was up. Dean should've been back by now, unless he was kidnapped or had done something stupid. Again.

"I swore I was done hunting, for good." Sam said dryly, walking down the steps after Dean. I got out of the car and walked closer to hear better.

"Come on man, maybe it wasn't easy, but it wasn't that bad." Dean replied, shaking his head.

"Yeah? When I told dad I was scared of the thing in my closet he gave me a .45." Sam snapped.

I stood there in shock, _what the hell? _I thought, _why are my dreams coming true all of the sudden?_

"Well, what was he supposed to do?" Dean asked.

"Alice and I were nine years old! He was supposed to say 'don't be afraid of the dark'!" Sam shouted.

"Hey, hey, calm down Sam, you're gonna wake the neighbors." A blonde woman chastised, following my brothers down the steps.

"Jess, hey how are you?" I inquired as the boys bickered on in front of us. "I didn't know Sam had told you."

"Oh no he hasn't, I figured it out." She laughed.

"See? I knew you were good for him." I beamed.

"Jess wait, I don't want you to be here for this." Sam pleaded.

"No Sam, I want to know what's out there," She started. "Don't give me that look, you think I wouldn't notice that you kept a knife under your pillow, or the salt lines?"

"That's my boy." Dean chuckled, slapping Sam on the back.

"Oh." Sam said simply, looking a lot like a kicked puppy. I knew he'd tried his hardest to protect her, in fact, in his first year of college he'd called us up and told us there was a haunting that he'd just found out about, just so that Jess wouldn't be hurt, or worry about him being gone to work the case.

"C'mon Sam, it's time you told her." I sighed. I knew he'd been trying to have some semblance of a normal life, but it really wasn't going to work if Jess didn't know enough to at least protect herself.

"Fine," He huffed. "You're going to think I'm crazy."

"No I'm not," Jess grinned. "I had an uncle who was sent to the loony bin when I was two, and we visit him every year on Christmas, I know what crazy is, and you're not it."

"Thanks," Sam mumbled. "Okay. So you know how when you're little you hear all about like Demons and Ghosts and stuff?"

She nodded slowly.

"It's kinda all true." He finished, flinching a little as though he were expecting her to hit him.

"Shit." Jess breathed. Her face was pale, and she looked like she was going to be sick.

"Yeah, sorry about that, but you aske-"

"No, it's just, my uncle, the one who's in the nut house, he kept going on about how it was his fault that my aunt died, that a Wendigo or whatever killed her because he let his guard down," She explained, cutting me off. "I don't think you guys are crazy though, I always knew there must've been something out there."

"Huh." Dean mumbled.

"Who knew." Sam muttered.

"I'm sorry, about your aunt and uncle." I said, patting her on the back.

"No, it's fine, I never knew them anyways." She replied, trying to chuckle, but not pulling it off.

"Well, is there anything specific you want to know? Or should we just start your training in the morning?" Sam inquired kindly.

"One thing," She stated firmly. "I want to know why you would be brought up like this."

"What do you mean?" Dean implored her.

"The weapon training, and melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors." Sam complained.

"So what, you're gonna live some normal, apple pie life?" Dean snapped.

"Not normal, safe." Sam insisted.

"And that's why you ran away?" Dean's voice was rising.

"I was just going to college! It was dad who said if I was gonna go I should stay gone. And that's what I've been doing." Sam scoffed.

"Yeah, well dad's in real trouble now, if he's not dead already. I can feel it." I countered, stepping on Dean's foot before he could shout at Sam and wake the whole complex.

"Ow!" He hissed, at least having enough sense to not shout. "What was that for?"

"It really wouldn't be wise to wake the whole complex with our family drama, would it?" I demanded.

"They can't do this alone Sam, go with them." Jess said soothingly.

"Yes they can. They've been doing this alone for four years." Sam fussed.

"Yeah, but we don't want to." Dean retorted.

Sam sighed and looked at his feet, thinking.

"What was he hunting?" He asked finally.

Dean crossed to the trunk of his beloved Impala, lifted the false bottom, and dug through the guns and knives.

"Let's see, where did I put that thing..." He mumbled.

"Here." I remarked, picking up a tape recorder and a file of papers and handing them to him.

"So, when dad left, why didn't you go with him?" Sam inquired.

"We were working our own gig, this, uh-"

"Voodoo thing in New Orleans." I finished, Dean had forgotten to come up with a cover for our volunteering, which surprised me.

"Really? Even in the wreckage from hurricane Katrina?" Jess queried.

"Dad let you go on a hunting trip by yourselves?" Sam laughed.

Dean looked up at Sam sharply. "I'm twenty-six, dude. I think I can take care of me and Alice."

"Anyways," I said, pointedly glaring at Dean. "Dad was checking out this two-lane blacktop just outside of Jericho, California. About a month ago, this guy," I handed Sam the paper on the top. "Disappeared, they found his car, but he was gone without a trace, completely M.I.A."

"So, maybe he was kidnapped." Sam scoffed.

"Yeah well, here's another one in April," Dean retorted, snatching the papers from me and throwing down each of them in turn. "Another in December, oh-four, ninety-eight, ninety-two, ten of them over the past twenty years."

I took the papers and put them back into the folder carefully. Dean really needed to take better care of case files, half of ours ended up dented or ripped by the end of the first day we had them.

"All of them were men, and all disappeared on the same 5-mile stretch of road," He explained. "It started happening more and more, so dad went to go dig around. That was about three weeks ago. I hadn't heard from him since, which is bad enough."

I held up the tape recorder. "Then we got this voice-mail two days ago." I hit play and dad's message began to play.

"Dean, Alice...Something big is starting to happen...I need to figure out what's going on. It may...Be very careful, you two, We're all in danger." It said, though it was heavily staticky and broke up a lot.

"You do know there's EVP on that?" Sam asked, suddenly very serious.

"What's EVP?" Jess pried.

"Electronic Voice Phenomena, it usually means there's a ghost nearby." I replied.

Dean shot me a look, then turned back to Sam. "Not bad, Sammy. Kind of like riding a bike isn't it?" He chuckled.

Sam shook his head, but I could see he was grinning.

"All right. We slowed the message down, Alice ran it through a gold wave, took out the hiss, and this is what she got." Dean sighed, snatching the recorder from me and hitting play again.

"I can never...Go home..." A woman's voice whispered.

"Never go home?" Jess repeated.

Dean threw the recorder back into the trunk and closed it back up again.

"You know, in two years I've not bothered you, never asked you for a thing..." He trailed off, staring intently at Sam.

"All right, I'll go. I'll help you find dad. Jess do you want to come with?" Sam suggested, obviously hoping she would come with us.

"What about the interview on Monday?" She demanded.

"A job interview? Skip it." I snorted.

"It's a law school interview, and it's my whole future on a plate." He insisted, standing up straight and squaring his shoulders, probably expecting a fight.

"Law school?" Dean smirked.

"So we got a deal or no?" Sam snapped.

Dean just stood there in surprise, he probably thought that Sam wasn't the lawyer type, but I knew better. Sam looked to me when he saw that Dean wouldn't be giving him an answer anytime soon. I sighed and nodded. I was glad that Jess would be coming along this time, because though I was their sister, sometimes they acted like I wasn't any more than a lamp when it was just the three of us.

The two of us waited by the car while Sam and Jess went and got some things for the trip.

"Thanks for coming up with our cover story." Dean mumbled, finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah, I'm surprised you hadn't come up with one yet," I admitted. "Usually you're better at thinking on your feet."

"Hm, I guess I need to up my game then." He grinned.

"Gettin' a little rusty there Dean-o." I chuckled.

Sam and Jess came back a few minutes later, each with a duffle in hand.

"Alright, let's get going." Dean announced once they'd put their things in the trunk.

We piled into the car, and there was an awkward moment where both Sam and I tried to get into shotgun. I let him take the seat, as I had been sitting there for the past two years, and he and Dean needed a little catching up time.

* * *

I drifted off to sleep around three.

_Sam threw out an arm and stopped Dean in his tracks. "No. I'm not like you two, I'm not going to let this take over my life."_

_"You have a responsibility to-"_

_"To what?" Sam snapped. "To dad? And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures Alice and I wouldn't even know what mom looks like. And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, mom's dead, and she isn't coming back."_

_"Don't talk about her like that!" Dean shouted, grabbing Sam's collar and shoving him against the side of the bridge. There was a long pause as I stood rooted to the spot, terrified of what might happen next._

_Dean let go of Sam after giving him one last push and began to walk away._

_"Guys." I gulped, spotting a woman wearing a white dress step off the railing over the bridge. We all ran over to look for a body, but there was nothing there except the river._

_"Where'd she go?" Jess asked._

_"No idea." Sam breathed._

_I heard the engine of the Impala turn over and was blinded by the headlights._

_"What the-" Dean mumbled._

_"Who's driving your car?" Jess shrieked. Dean pulled the keys out of his pocket and shook them a little, and the car began to come straight at us. All of us, but Jess started to run, and when I got to her I grabbed her arm and pulled her behind me._

_"Go go go!" I screamed. We all jumped over the railing, Sam and I catching ourselves on the bars, but Jess and Dean weren't so lucky, they fell into the river._

_It was silent for a few moments, and I realized the car had turned off, I hoisted myself up onto the bridge and helped Sam back up._

_"Dean? Jess?" Sam called._

I sat up in my seat, screaming my head off, which made Sam swerve the car nearly off the road.

"Woah! Alice, are you okay!?" Sam yelped as he steadied the wheel.

"D-dean! Wake up! DEAN!" I cried, my breathing rapid and shallow.

Dean sat straight up and turned to look at me.

"Hey, hey. Calm down Alice. Was it another nightmare?" He asked with a forced even tone.

I nodded, trying to calm my breathing as he rifled through the glove compartment for an inhaler.

"Crap! Sam pull over at this gas station here. Alice's inhaler is in the trunk." He groaned. Sam pulled into the station and turned off the car immediately, yet somehow Dean was out of the car before that.

Jess had finally woken up and was looking very worried while I wheezed and coughed, trying to get enough air into my lungs.

"Dean! Hurry! She's nearly passed out!" Sam yelled.

"I'm trying I'm trying!" He exclaimed, rifling madly through my duffle. "Found it!" He sprinted over to my side of the car and wrenched the door open, nearly pulling it off the hinges and stuffed the inhaler into my hand. I was bent over, but I still managed to take it and breathe in the much needed medicine.

"What just happened?" Jess demanded once my breathing had calmed down.

"Alice has asthma, and she's been having a lot of nightmares recently that trigger a panic attack. She only takes her inhaler during an attack or before a run or hunt, completely refuses to take it any other time." Dean explained, slumping against the car.

Jess nodded, obviously confused as to how she was supposed to react.

"I'm gonna get some grub. Start up the gas pump for me will ya?" He sighed, walking into the gas station.

Sam got out of the car and began the pump before climbing into the passenger seat and taking out the tape collection.

"So, how long have the nightmares been happening?" Sam asked nonchalantly, I could tell, however, that he was hiding something.

"About two months, why?" I replied suspiciously.

"Nothing." He croaked.

"What he means," Jess began, glaring at him. "Is that he's been having them too. He won't tell me what about though."

"Jess." Sam whined.

"Save it." She replied, giving him a pointed look.

"Hm." I mumbled, not sure what to say to that. It was a little strange that we would be having nightmares around the same times, and that he wouldn't tell Jess what they were about, I mean she was one of the few people Sam still trusted.

"Hey, you want breakfast?" Dean grinned, holding up various doughnuts and whatever else could pass as breakfast at a gas pump.

"Ugh no thanks." Sam grumbled, I'd forgotten he was all Mr. healthy food, whereas Dean and I ate whatever we could, when we could. Dean and I were always making sure Sammy got enough food, even if that meant not eating ourselves when we were growing up. Dean had always tried to make me eat just as much as Sam, but I blatantly refused, I'm not sure why I felt like I needed to take care of him so much, I was only older than him by a few minutes, but I acted like we were years apart sometimes.

I took a bear claw, and looked over to see Jess taking one of those weird fruit jelly ones I couldn't stand. It was a cheap imitation of pie and I wasn't going to buy into it no matter what.

"So how'd you pay for that stuff?" Sam chuckled. "You three still runnin' credit card scams?"

"Yeah well, hunting ain't exactly a pro ball career," Dean replied, putting the nozzle back onto the pump and closing the gas tank. "Besides, all we do is apply, it's not our fault they send us the cards."

"Isn't that kind of illegal?" Jess asked me.

"Well, the only real way to get money when you can't have a job is either hustlin' at bars, or credit card scams, so take your pick." I explained.

"So what names did you use on the application this time?" Sam inquired as Dean climbed into the driver's seat.

"Ah, Burt Aframian, and his son Hector. Scored two cards out of the deal." He grinned.

"Yeah, you two didn't seem to think I would need a card." I grumbled.

"Sounds about right," Sam laughed. I'd forgotten how nice it was to hear him laugh, or Dean for that matter, we'd been so absorbed in the job that we'd barely taken any time to make a joke or even have a conversation. "I swear guys, you gotta update your cassette collection."

"Why? What's wrong with it?" I retorted.

"Well for one, they're cassette tapes," He replied, as if that were a bad thing. "Two, Black Sabbath? Motorhead? Metallica? It's the greatest hits of the mullet rock."

Dean snatched the Metallica tape from where Sam was holding it out.

"House rules, Sammy, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cake-hole, or pie-hole depending on if it's you or Alice." Dean smirked, popping the tape into the player and starting up the car.

"You know, Sammy is a chubby twelve year-old," Sam complained. "It's Sam, okay?"

"Sorry, I can't hear you, the musics too loud." Dean shouted over the music that was blasting through the car. I hadn't realized how close we were to Jericho until we passed a sign that read "Jericho, 7 miles"

* * *

Sam flipped the phone closed and sighed.

"Alright so there's no one matching dad's description at the hospital or morgue, so that's somethin' I guess." He said as we pulled up to a bridge surrounded by cop cars.

"Check it out." Dean pointed at the scene.

"Thank's Captain Obvious." I quipped, rolling my eyes.

"Hey, stop calling me that. I'm very helpful." He replied, sulking a little bit.

We pulled over and Dean dug through the box of fake ID's in them for a second before deciding on U.S. Marshalls.

"Okay, Jess you better stay in the car, we don't have an ID for you. Now which one of you wants to stay with her?" He asked.

"I will." Sam replied, he got out of the car and slid into the seat I had been in.

"Alright, let's go Alice." Dean mumbled. I knew he was a little annoyed that Sam hadn't wanted to play cops with him, but he was just gonna have to deal.

"Did you find anything?" An officer shouted to some divers on the riverbed. Why they needed divers I had no idea.

"No!" One yelled back.

"No sign of a struggle, no foot prints, no fingerprints. Spotless. It's almost too clean." Another officer sighed as he examined a car I assumed to be the vic's.

"So this kid Troy, he's dating your daughter isn't he?" The first cop inquired.

"Yeah." The second cop replied softly.

"How's Amy doing?" First cop asked worriedly.

"She's puttin' up missing posters downtown with her friend." Second cop answered sadly. Obviously this Amy chick was heartbroken.

"You fellas had another one just like this last month, didn't you?" I said as naturally as I could.

"And who are you?" The first cop demanded.

"Federal Marshalls." Dean stated simply as both of us flashed our badges.

"You two are a little young for Marshalls aren't you?" The cop asked suspiciously.

"Hm. That's very kind of you." I chuckled.

"You did have another one like this, correct?" Dean insisted, walking around the pristine car.

"Yeah, that's right. About a mile up the road. There've been others before that." The officer nodded.

"So this victim, you knew him?" Dean asked.

"Town like this, everybody knows everybody." Cop one replied, nodding again.

I tuned out of the two men's conversation and began to poke around the car myself, putting the earbuds of the homemade EMF detector in and casually sweeping the side of my jacket that I'd put it in around. The readings were there, but not off the charts.

"Well that is exactly the kind of police work I'd expect out of you guys." Dean snapped. I stood up and stomped on his foot.

"Thank you for your time." I smiled weakly and began to walk back to our car.

"What was that for?" He demanded once we were out of earshot of the officers.

"You were gonna get us caught you idiot, you can't talk to police like that!" I hissed.

"Can I help you two?" The sheriff demanded, using the tone of voice one would use when telling off a kid for doing something like colouring on the walls.

"No sir we were just leaving," Dean smirked. "Agent Mulder, Agent Scully." He nodded at two FBI agents.

* * *

I'd told Dean about the EMF readings I'd gotten, and the four of us had decided to go and talk to Amy. Dean had insisted on talking to her himself, and Jess had needed a little experience in the field so Sam and I stayed in the car while they were talking.

"So how's college been?" I asked after a few minutes, trying to break the awkward silence. The last time I'd seen Sam we hadn't exactly left on the best terms, considering I'd fought with him about telling Jess.

"It's been okay," He said curtly. "How about you? Aren't you getting bored of dad and Dean ordering you around?"

"It's not like that Sammy." I sighed.

"Well then how is it?" He demanded.

"I like hunting for one thing, and for another, my family actually means something to me." The moment those words were out of my mouth I regretted saying them. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes you did. And you're right, I shouldn't have abandoned you guys, but it was worth being away from dad. You know what he's like. That reminds me, he treating you and Dean ok?" He replied worriedly. Before Sam left, dad had been a little out of control, and Sam leaving for Stanford had kinda tipped him over the edge from wild to completely batshit. He hadn't stopped drinking for weeks, and left Dean and me to our own devices for most of the time. Back then he hadn't let us go on our own hunts either so we were stuck at an old house we were squatting in until he decided otherwise. A few months after the big fight, he had come home in a drunken stupor, angrily yelling and throwing things. He had said he blamed me and Sam for our mother's death, and that Dean wasn't even able to be trusted with the care of Sam or me. I had called Sam in a moment of weakness after dad had hit me and Dean around for a while, and I really shouldn't have because he completely freaked out and now every time we saw him he would ask me that question.

"Yeah, I haven't even seen or talked to the guy for a few months, Dean takes the calls and we've been busy on our own hunts. You know, fighting evil and whatever." I chuckled, trying to change the subject and steer it away from such a tricky topic.

"If he ever does hurt you again-"

"Sammy! We're fine." I snapped. I could see him roll his eyes when I used his childhood nickname.

"Whatever." He muttered. I glared at him from the driver's seat I was lounging in and popped one of the AC/DC tapes into the player and turned on the car. I knew Dean wouldn't be ecstatic about my using up gas, but he wouldn't complain, it was my car now too.

"Hey, so turns out there's an urban legend about a phantom hitchhiker, let's go to the library and do some digging on that." Dean announced as he slid into the passenger seat.

"Any idea where the library is genius?" I huffed.

"No need to be so snippy," He grumbled. "Sam did you say something to her?"

"I asked her about how dad's been acting. That was it." Sam sighed, pressing his forehead to the window.

"Dammit Sam, I told you not to bring that up anymore! What's done is done, and it's never going to happen again." Dean barked.

"Sorry." Sam mumbled, looking down at the floor.

"Alright calm down you three, the library's just a couple blocks away, on the corner of fifth and Pine," Jess interjected before we could yell at each other any more. "Sam you'd better explain to me what's going on while they're in there. And I need the whole story so no excuses."

Sam nodded quickly and out of the corner of my eye I could see Dean smirking. I pulled the seat belt over my chest and drove the extremely short distance before hopping out of the car.

"Roll down the windows if you get too hot." I grumbled to Sam and Jess. The moment we were at the doors to the library I could hear Jess yelling at Sam, evidently for what he had asked me. I had been pretty traumatized by the whole drunken John experience, so much that even now I flinched when someone even brushed by me, except for Dean. Bringing it up always made it worse, but Sam didn't seem to understand that.

We walked up to the computer and I sat down and pulled up the Jericho Herald archive search. I tried a few variations of 'Female Murder Centennial' and 'Female Murder Hitchhiking' before Dean tried to shove me over a bit to have the keyboard.

"Let me try." He insisted.

I smacked his hand. "I got it Dean."

He shoved my rolling chair out of the way and stole the keyboard.

"Dude!" I hissed, not wanting to get told off, but hitting him on the shoulder for being such a jerk. "You're such a control freak Jesus."

"Well, angry spirits are born out of violent death, right?" He reasoned.

"Yeah..." I trailed off, confused as to where he was going with this.

"Well maybe it's not a murder." He finished, typing 'Female Suicide Centennial Highway'. It got one hit, but it was one hit more than I had gotten. I glared at him, which only received a smirk in return.

"1981, A Constance Welsch, aged twenty-four, jumps off Slyvania Bridge, and drowns in the river." He read.

"I see that Dean, I'm not illiterate, or blind," I snapped. "Does it say why she did it?"

"Yeah." He answered after skimming through the article.

"Well?" I demanded.

"An hour before they find her, she calls 911. Her two little kids are in the bathtub, she leaves them alone for a minute, and when she comes back, they aren't breathing. Both die." Dean summarized.

"Hmph." Was my only reply.

""'Our babies were gone and Constance just couldn't bear it.' Said husband Joseph Welsch"" He read.

I leaned forwards. "That bridge look familiar to you?"

"Yeah, isn't that the one Troy's car was found on?" He agreed.

"Yep." I groaned. I knew that Dean would want to search the bridge at night, and I knew I would wind up being dragged along with him.

* * *

"Hey, why don't we get some grub at the diner." Dean proposed, climbing back into the driver's seat.

"Sure." Sam whispered, from Jess' expression I could tell she'd been chewing him out all afternoon while Dean and I had been trying to figure out what Constance was.

"Can we get takeaway? I want to talk to all of you." Jess asked softly, glaring at Sam who looked like he was going to protest.

"Yeah sure, why not." Dean shrugged, starting up the car. Dean went in and got food while the rest of us sat in a very uncomfortable silence. I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath until Dean came back with the food and I exhaled very deeply.

"You okay there kiddo?" He asked, trying to keep his tone light, though I knew he was worried.

"Fine." I mumbled. He drove us a little out of town to a campsite where Jess had insisted we eat our greasy dinner.

"You going to tell us what you meant? Or are we just gonna sit here awkwardly all night?" Sam snorted. I knew he was mad, but he didn't have to be so rude. It just wasn't like him.

"I wanted to know what it was like growing up, and what your father's like because Sam won't tell me." Jess retorted.

"Well, I guess we'd have to start from the beginning." I shrugged.

_Two adults stood in the doorway of their youngest children's nursery while the twin's older brother stood at the cribs in turn to say goodnight._

"_Goodnigh' Sammy, Goodnigh' Al." He whispered, stumbling over the longer words._

_"So Dean," John Winchester began. "You think Sammy's old enough to throw around a football?"_

_"No daddy." Dean laughed as John scooped him into his arms._

_"No me either." John chuckled._

_"You got him?" Mary asked as she began to leave._

_"I got him," John replied. "Sweet dreams Sam and Alice."_

_The babies both cooed as John flipped off the light switch, though Alice was wheezing a little._

_Later, John is awakened by Mary's scream._

_"Mary?" He yelled, sprinting up the stairs to the twins' nursery. "Mary!"_

_He busted through the closed door to see that all appeared to be well with the twins, he slowly walked over to Alice whos breathing had become a little more labored._

_"Hey Alice, you okay?" He breathed, pushing her hair away from her face. A small drop of something hit the sheets next to her pillow, and John moved his hand to investigate the strange substance. Two more drops fell onto his hand before he realized it was blood. A sense of dread filling him, he looked up at the ceiling to see Mary, pinned there with a deep gash in her abdomen, and eyes wide with terror._

_He fell to the floor in fear._

_"No! Mary!" He screamed as flames erupted above her. The two babies started to cry loudly, and John realized he needed to get his remaining family out of there alive._

_He scooped up Alice first and then Sam, trying to keep them balanced. Dean ran up the hall, woken by his father's yells._

_"Daddy!" He cried._

_"Take your brother and sister outside as fast as you can and don't look back. Now Dean! Go!" John barked. Dean picked up both of his tiny siblings, trying not to drop them, and was successful until he got onto the grass outside._

_"Alice! He shrieked as she fussed and fell out of his loose grip, she fell to the ground, but was soon scooped up by a running John Winchester. He carries all three of his children in his arms._

_"I gotcha." He reassures them, his face streaked with tears as fire explodes out the nursery window. Dean shrieks and buries his head in John's shoulder, barely keeping Sam in his arms._

"And that's when our dad found out about what's really out there." Dean finished. He was the only one who could remember anything from that day, though sometimes I thought I could, besides dad, who had filled in the gaps in that story.

"I'm really sorry you guys had to go through that." Jess whispered.

"I can't really imagine what we would've been like if we hadn't," I laughed. "I mean, Sam here, he decided what to do independently of hunting, never wanted anything to do with it if he could help it. Dean and me though, hunting is all we've really ever known. Only thing we can really do besides it is fix cars, he can cook, and I can write a pretty damn good story."

"When did you all find out? About the monsters thing, I mean." She said quickly

"I found out just after the fire, I had no choice really, I had to take care of these two while dad was away. Alice was kind of forced into it too when a very pissed off witch found out where we were staying and turned her blanket into spiders and tied her hair to the headboard. She was three, but we kept Sammy out of it for another few years." Dean sighed.

"I was eight and the only reason you told me was because I figured out you were lying about dad coming back while I was asleep at Christmas." Sam grumbled.

"He wouldn't talk to me for a month when he realized I'd known for years." I chuckled, though I was still upset that after the incident he'd talked to me less and less even after he decided I could be trusted again.

"Sorry about that." Sam smiled sheepishly. I couldn't blame him for being upset, I hadn't told him something that could've endangered his life, and in fact, did a few times, by not knowing.

"It's okay." I shrugged. I tried to keep my voice even, but it cracked on the last word. I swore at myself in my head for not being able to act like everything was ok, that had been something Dean had inadvertently taught me, and I was glad of it. It helped a lot when I needed to help mediate between dad and Sam.

"Hey, I'm glad you two are opening up, and whatever, but we don't have time for this, sun's set and we need to go check out the bridge." Dean interjected as Sam opened his mouth to say something.

We all piled back into the car, and I rested my forehead on the cool glass of the window. I thought about what Sam could've been trying to say when Dean cut him off, but it was just making me upset and frustrated.

"Ow!" I screamed, clutching my head.

_A motel door flashed before my eyes before swinging open to reveal an obviously abandoned room. There were old cheeseburgers on the desk, cats-eye shells and salt at the door and windows_. _On the wall there were papers with the victim's missing warrants, and on the one across from it were papers describing supernatural creatures, one in particular caught my attention. Underneath a scrap of paper that read 'Woman in White' was Constance Welsch's obit._

"Alice?!" I could hear Jess shouting as someone shook my shoulders.

"M'fine!" I screamed, backing away from the hands and falling out of the car onto the bridge.

"Woah, woah, Alice it's okay." Sam reassured me, gently putting a hand on my shoulder, which I immediately threw off.

"I'm fine, Sam. You don't need to tell me." I snapped, springing to my feet and turning away.

"Alright, alright." He sighed. I could hear him backing away from me, and guessed that he had thrown his hands up in defense.

"So this is where Constance took the swan dive." Dean chuckled, obviously trying to change the subject.

"You think dad would've been here?" Sam asked hopefully.

"Well he was chasing this story and we're chasing him." I reasoned, staring off the bridge so I wouldn't have to look at my brothers.

"Okay, so now what?" Sam demanded after a moment.

"We keep digging until we find 'im. Might take a while." Dean explained.

"I told you guys, I gotta get back by Monday-" Sam began.

"Right, the interview." Dean scoffed.

"Yeah." Sam defended.

"Yeah I forgot, you're really serious about this aren't you? You think you're just going to become some lawyer? Marry Jess?" Dean demanded.

"Maybe, why not?" Sam was blushing now, and it hit me that maybe, he was planning to marry Jess.

"You can pretend all you want Sammy, but one day you're going to have to face up to what you really are." Dean growled.

"And who's that?" Sam demanded.

"One of us." Dean grinned.

Sam threw out an arm and stopped Dean in his tracks. "No. I'm not like you two, I'm not going to let this take over my life."

"You have a responsibility to-"

"To what?" Sam snapped. "To dad? And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures Alice and I wouldn't even know what mom looks like. And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, mom's dead, and she isn't coming back."

"Don't talk about her like that!" Dean shouted, grabbing Sam's collar and shoving him against the side of the bridge. There was a long pause as I stood rooted to the spot, terrified of what might happen next.

Dean let go of Sam after giving him one last push and began to walk away.

"Guys." I gulped, spotting a woman wearing a white dress step off the railing over the bridge. We all ran over to look for a body, but there was nothing there except the river.

"Where'd she go?" Jess asked.

"No idea." Sam breathed.

I heard the engine of the Impala turn over and was blinded by the headlights.

"What the-" Dean mumbled.

"Who's driving your car?" Jess shrieked. Dean pulled the keys out of his pocket and shook them a little, and the car began to come straight at us. All of us, but Jess started to run, and when I got to her I grabbed her arm and pulled her behind me.

"Go go go!" I screamed. We all jumped over the railing, Sam and I catching ourselves on the bars, but Jess and Dean weren't so lucky, they fell into the river.

It was silent for a few moments, and I realized the car had turned off, I hoisted myself up onto the bridge and helped Sam back up.

"Dean? Jess?" Sam called.

"Dean!" I shrieked as he pulled himself and Jess onto the shore.

"What?" Dean groaned, flipping over onto his back to catch his breath.

"Hey, are you two okay?" Sam demanded, looking like he was about to jump down there to check for himself.

Dean glanced over at Jess before holding up the A-Okay sign. "We're super!"

Sam laughed happily and pulled me away from the edge where I was white-knuckling the railing.

"You okay?" Sam asked finally. "You looked like, well, you looked like you'd seen a ghost!"

"M'fine Sammy, just a little shaken up. I mean, we don't usually get run off of bridges by ghosts." I chuckled nervously. It didn't take Dean and Jess very long to make their way up the bank and back onto the bridge, and when they did, I saw that they were covered in mud.

"Lemme take a look at her." Dean demanded, gesturing to the hood of the car, which we were sitting on. I jumped down and as Sam didn't look like he knew what Dean meant, I pulled him down with me.

"Your car all right?" Sam joked, obviously not understanding what the Impala meant to us.

Dean closed the hood and turned to lean on it.

"Yeah, whatever she did to it, seems all right now. That Constance chick, what a _bitch_!" He yelled to the thin air.

"Well, she doesn't want us digging around, that's for sure. So where's the job go from here, genius?" Sam scoffed, joining him on the hood. Dean threw his hands up in defeat, and tried to get some of the mud off of them. I sniffed, and wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"You two smell like a toilet." I complained, getting into the driver's seat after stealing the keys from Dean.

Dean walked around to the back and popped the trunk, pulling two towels out and handing one to Jess. They wiped off the worst of the sludge and climbed into the car. By the time Sam came back from snooping around, looking for God knows what, it was early morning and we were all exhausted. I drove us up to the nearest motel and Dean and I went to check in.

"Two rooms please." Dean mumbled, throwing the card down onto the desk. The man there picked it up after eyeing Dean, and when he looked at the card he chuckled.

"You guys having a reunion or something?" The guy scoffed.

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently, hoping that maybe dad was still here.

"I had another guy, Burt Aframian. He came and bought out a room for the whole month." He replied. I glanced at Dean, who looked excited to maybe have a lead on dad.

We got our keys and parked the car, but didn't even bother grabbing our bags because we wanted to take a peak at dad's room. I had gotten the room number while Dean paid.

Sam and Jess got down on their knees at the lock and Sam gave her the basics of lock picking. Dean and I kept watch while they fiddled with the lock, just incase cops showed up for one reason or another. It took them about seven minutes to do a task that would take me twenty seconds.

When Sam pulled me into the room I let out a small shriek of surprise. It was exactly like the hotel room in my hallucination back at the bridge, down to the number of cat-eye shells at the windows.

"Woah, hey Alice you sure you're okay?" Sam asked concernedly, starting to put a comforting hand on my shoulder, but thinking better of it.

"Yeah." I squeaked, making Dean shoot a glance at me that said 'we're going to talk about this, whether you like it or not'.

"Looks like dad hasn't been here in a few days at least." He reasoned, sniffing an old cheeseburger and making a face that told me it was old, and definitely wasn't good anymore.

"Salt, cat's-eye shells...He was worried, trying to keep something from coming in." Sam mumbled, running a finger through the salt lines.

"What have you got there?" Jess inquired as Dean moved to the wall that I knew had the missing warrants on it.

"Centennial Highway vics." I replied before Dean could even open his mouth.

"How did you know?" He asked, and I realized I was on the other side of the room.

"Uh..." I mumbled, not having an excuse.

"I don't get it," Sam began, picking up on my hesitancy to answer Dean's question. "I mean, different men, different jobs, ages, ethnicities. There's always a connection, right? What do these guys have in common?"

Jess crossed the room to the wall opposite of the victims.

"John figured it out," She mumbled, pointing to Constance's obituary underneath the scrap of paper. "What's a 'Woman In White'?"

"You sly dogs." Dean chuckled.

"What he means is," I snapped, glowering at him. "Women In White are a type of vengeful spirit, the story goes that the woman's husband cheats on her, and in a fit of insanity, they kill their own children. After realizing what they've done, they kill themselves, and in the afterlife, they kill off guys who do the same thing to other girls."

"Kinda like just desserts huh?" She chuckled.

"Yep," I nodded. "But we kind of don't approve of spirits killing off mostly innocent people."

"Alright," Dean clapped his hands together. "If we're dealing with one, dad would've found the corpse and burned it."

"Ugh gross, you guys seriously dig up corpses?" Jess squealed.

"Uh, yeah." Sam admitted sheepishly.

"She might have another weakness." I shrugged, diverting the conversation back to the important topic.

"Dad would want to be sure," Dean insisted. "He'd dig her up, does it say where she's buried?"

"No, not that I can tell." Jess sighed, probably hoping that she wouldn't have to dig up anything.

"If I were Dad, though, I'd go ask her husband." Sam said, tapping the picture of Joseph Welsch.

"If he's still alive." I added, motioning to the date of the article, which would make the guy about sixty-four. Twenty-four years without your family seems unlivable to me.

"Alright, uh, well why don't you two find the address, I need to get cleaned up and I'm sure Dean wants to too." Jess replied, walking out the door and snatching a room key from my hands.

"I second that, I don't wanna smell like this ever again." Dean grimaced.

"God Dean, for such a macho dude, you really are such a chick." I chuckled. Dean punched my shoulder lightly.

"Hey Dean?" Sam began quietly once Jess had shut the door. "What I said about mom and dad earlier, I'm sorry."

"Uh, dude, no chick-flick moments." Dean insisted, putting up a hand.

"Alright. Jerk." Sam chuckled.

"Bitch." Dean grinned before walking into the bathroom.

Sam walked over to the mirror, and picked up a photo of our first hunt. It showed dad holding us on his lap, and Dean sitting next to us on the hood of the car, grinning widely. I looked fairly happy myself, but Sam looked gloomy. He had wanted to go to soccer tryouts that day, but dad had insisted on going out on the hunt.

"Hey Alice, can you go get me some clothes from the car?" Dean called from the bathroom, snapping me out of my memories.

"Yeah sure, be right back." I said. I snatched the car keys from Dean's hand which was sticking out of the doorway.

I crossed the parking lot to the Impala and swung the bags over my shoulder. Jess' bag was heavier than mine, and what space I didn't use for clothes (which was a lot) I used for weapons.

"Hey Jess! I've got your stuff!" I called through the door. I would've picked the lock, but my arms were full with Jess and Dean's bags, and also she wasn't really used to us doing that yet.

"Thanks, Alice." She grinned, taking the bag from me and closing the door gently. I went over to dad's old room and pounded on the door for a few minutes before I realized Sam must've convinced Dean to go to their room.

"Way to make my job easier." I grumbled. Dean's bag was probably the heaviest because he kept all the books in there. I thumped my free fist on the door for almost just as long as I had on dad's door before Sam swung the door open with a paled face and I nearly started knocking on his chest.

"Hey, I got Dean's stuff. You okay?" I asked tentitavely.

"Yeah. M'fine, just a nightmare." He nodded quickly, letting me into the room.

"Hey, you going to give me my stuff or am I going to have to wait around all day?" Dean shouted as I heard him turn off the water.

I shoved the bag into his hand that was sticking out of the doorway and flopped face first onto one of the beds. I noticed that the other had been mussed up like it had been briefly slept in and I guessed that Sam had been napping.

I lay on the bed for about five minutes before there was a knock at the door and Sam opened it to reveal Jess, who looked about ten times as good as I did and made me regret not changing, or even running a brush through my hair.

"Dean still not done?" Jess rolled her eyes.

"Nope." Sam chuckled.

We waited another good four and a half minutes before I stood up and started pounding on the door.

"Dude! Jess is here already, I swear to God you are the most high maintenance person I've ever met, and I'm a _girl._" I scoffed.

"I'm sorry, were you saying something?" Dean laughed as the door banged open in my face, hitting me on the nose.

"Ow. Asshat." I grumbled, kicking him in the shins.

"Hey, I'm gonna go get a bite to eat at that diner, you guys want anything?" He asked, shrugging his old leather jacket over his shoulder as he crossed the room. I swear, that thing had been around longer than I could remember, probably it'd been around longer than I have considering it used to be our dad's.

"No." Sam shook his head.

"Just a soda or something for me thanks." Jess said, smiling faintly.

"Can I go along with you?" I pleaded. "I wanna see what they have."

"Yeah sure. Sam you certain you don't want anything? Aframian's buying!" Dean smirked, holding up the card.

"Yeah, double no." Sam snorted.

Dean sighed and motioned for me to go ahead of him. Just our luck, the second we were in the middle of the parking lot I spotted the cops from yesterday talking to the guy who checked us into the motel.

"Crap." I hissed, slapping Dean's shoulder to make him look.

"Dude, five-oh, take off. Bring the bags with you." Dean whispered into the phone.

I could just barely hear Sam saying something on the other line.

"Well, they kind of spotted us. Go find dad." He flipped the phone closed as the cops walked up to us. I could finally read their nametags which said 'Jaffe' and 'Hein'.

"Problem officers?" Dean asked innocently.

"Where are the two passengers from your car yesterday?" Jaffe demanded, crossing his arms like he'd caught us.

"Passengers, what passengers?" I inquired, quirking my brow to try to sell my confusion further.

Jaffe jerked his thumb at the door and I silently prayed to anyone who could hear me that Sam and Jess had gotten out okay, and with the bags. We didn't need any more incriminating evidence on our cases.

"So, fake credit cards, fake U.S. Marshalls, you got anything that's real?" Jaffe scoffed.

"My dick." I deadpanned as Dean said "My boobs."

It took seconds for them to slam us on the hood of the cruiser and put handcuffs on us while reading us our rights. I smirked at Dean and thought _That must be a new record._

We were roughly shoved into the backseat of the car, and they began the short trip to the station. My head had already been throbbing when we'd been cuffed, but now I was in complete agony.

"AH!" I screamed, doubling over.

_"Jess?" Sam called through the apartment, bag slung over his shoulder. He heard the hiss of water in the bathroom and flopped down on the bed, sighing and trying to relax after a long hunt._

_Two drops of blood hit his forehead and he looked up. On the ceiling, there was Jess, dressed in a white nightgown and her abdomen slashed open._

_"Jess!" Sam cried as the room caught on fire. He looked paralyzed as he stared up at his girlfriend._

"Hey, hey. Alice, calm down. Bugsy don't freak out on me, we don't have your inhaler." Dean warned as I tried desperately to get air in my lungs.

"Dean." I wheezed.

"Shhh, calm down, breathe." He insisted, helping the best he could to flip me onto my back.

It was probably the most uncomfortable thing I'd done in an insanely long time.

"HEY! I NEED SOME HELP HERE!" Dean shouted. "SHE'S HAVING AN ATTACK, SHE NEEDS A DOCTOR!"

The last thing I remember before my vision failed was Dean screaming abuse at the officers, who were blatantly ignoring him.

* * *

"Dean!" I choked, trying to sit straight up, but was repressed by two paramedics.

"Hey, lay down. You've had a serious asthma attack and we need to help you. Are you allergic to any medicines?" The one on my left asked. She was a woman not terribly much older than Dean, and I had to say, she wasn't bad on the eyes.

"Uh," I spluttered, gasping for air. "Just, just penicillin and midol."

"That's unfortunate." The other chuckled. He was younger than the attractive woman, but not by much.

I blanked out again as they put a mask over my mouth and nose.

* * *

"S'mmy?" I asked blearily when I opened my eyes, this time I was in the hospital, and Sam and Jess were sitting on the guest chairs. "Where's De?"

"Hey bugsy, Dean's out in the car. Took a lot of persuading to get him to stay there. We got rid of the Woman In White, before you ask." Sam replied softly.

"How many times do I have to tell you guys, bugs don't freak me out anymore." I grumbled.

"Yeah, she's fine." Sam chuckled, patting my shoulder gently. I flinched all the same, though not as badly as usual.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "Fake 9-1-1 call though, that's pretty illegal."

"Funny, Dean said the same thing." Sam shook his head lightly.

"Guess we're more alike than you give me credit." I grinned. Jess gave me a weird look and it dawned on me that they hadn't mentioned how they'd gotten Dean out of jail.

"Welp, we better let you get some rest. You look exhausted." Sam mumbled, obviously realizing my slip up.

"Yeah, you guys get some shut-eye too okay? Uh, one question, how long was I out for?" I inquired, itching at the I.V. in my hand.

"Around thirteen hours." Jess replied, sweeping out the door.

After they left I lay in the hospital bed, unable to fall asleep because I was afraid I would see Jess burn on the ceiling again, so I tossed and turned until Jess came back around noon the next day.

"Hey there, you ready to go? I've got some clothes here for you that I thought you might like best." She said, holding up a stack of neatly folded clothing.

"Thanks, yeah." I mumbled, pulling the curtains around the bed and getting dressed. Either Dean had told her what to get out of my bag, or she was a damn psychic because she'd picked my favorite outfit. It was a black tank top, grey flannel shirt, jeans, and combat boots that I wore on nearly every hunt if I could help it. They meant good luck to me.

"Let's go." She grinned as I pushed back the curtain and tried to run my fingers through the knots in my long dirty blonde hair. She helped me walk to the car as I was still a little wobbly on my feet, it'd been ten years since I last had to be hospitalized for my asthma, and it was because dad 'forgot' to refill my prescription.

"Hey how you feelin'?" Dean asked the second I was within hearing range.

"Better, thanks for trying to yell at those cops for me." I replied with a weak smile, I knew I had caused Dean a lot of worry, and the rings of purple under his eyes only increased my guilt.

"No problem bugsy." He grinned, pulling me into a one-armed hug.

"Why does everyone keep calling me that today?" I protested, wriggling from Dean's grasp.

"Hey, you nearly died cos of those assholes at the station, I think I get to call you whatever I want for a while." He smirked.

"Ugh." I groaned.

We ate lunch at a diner a few towns over, just to be safe while Jess and Sam poured over a map.

"Whatcha lookin' for?" I asked after a few minutes of near silence.

"Dad left town, and his journal. Gave us coordinates." Sam explained quickly, taking the map back from Jess.

"Oh." I said simply. I couldn't believe he just skipped town and abandoned us, but we were legal adults, and he could do whatever he wanted.

"Okay, so here's where we think dad went," Sam pointed at a spot of forest on the map. "It's called Blackwater Ridge, Colorado."

"Sounds charming." I snorted.

"How far?" Dean inquired.

"About six hundred miles." Jess answered after a minute.

"If we shag ass we can make it there by morning." Dean suggested, slapping two bills on the table and standing up.

"Dean, we um.." Sam trailed off.

"You're not coming with us." I stated.

"The interview's in like, fifteen hours, we gotta be there." Jess explained, at least she seemed sorry about it, Sam was just moping and avoiding our stares.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. We'll take you back." Dean sighed. We all piled back into the car, and I took shotgun before Sam even reached the door. If he was annoyed, he didn't say anything.

* * *

We pulled up at Sam and Jess' apartment eight hours later, and after one of the most uncomfortable car rides of my life, I couldn't have been more happy.

"Call me if you find him," Sam requested, leaning through my window to talk to Dean. Again, I was demoted to lamp status. "And maybe we can all meet up again later, huh?"

"Yeah, all right." I shrugged noncommittally.

Sam turned away and started walking towards the door, where Jess was waiting for him and I popped the glove compartment open and dumped a couple Advil into my hand, seeing as my head was pounding again.

"Sam?" Dean called. Sam motioned for Jessica to go inside and came back to the car.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"You know we made a hell of a team back there." Dean remarked nonchalantly.

"Yeah." Sam agreed. We drove off as Sam walked up the steps, and Dean started to put the Def Leppard tape in.

"Wait," I said, pushing his hand out of the way. "We need to go back."

"How come?" He demanded, fighting to put the tape in.

"I just, have a bad feeling about it." I sighed.

"Yeah, thanks Spielberg, but I'm not gonna go back on just a hunch. Sammy needs his sleep for the interview thingy." He insisted.

"Pull over a sec, I need to tell you something." I grumbled. It wasn't my first choice of action, but there wasn't another way I could think of to get him to take me back.

"What?" He snapped as he killed the ignition.

"You know those nightmares I've been having?" I started.

"Uh, how could I not?" He chuckled.

"Well, they've, kind of been coming true." I finished hurriedly. I flinched when Dean gave me a confused look.

"What do you mean, 'they've kind of been coming true'?" He asked, trying to keep his voice even.

"Remember I had that dream that dad was going to disappear like three weeks ago? Well, there were some other things too, like Sam placed a fake 9-1-1 call to get you out of the jail, and the Woman In White sunk her claws into Sam's chest when he wouldn't cheat on Jess." I explained.

"Oh. Did you have a dream about Sam's apartment? Is that why you want to go back?"

"Yeah." I nodded. He wasn't going to get anything out of me about the dream, I didn't even know if it was going to come true.

"Alright." He mumbled. We did a U-turn and were back at the apartment just as flames erupted from Sam's window.

"Sammy!" We screamed, racing up the steps and bursting through the door to see Sam paralyzed underneath Jess' body, exactly how I'd seen it in my dream.

"Jess!" He cried, sheilding his eyes from the brightness.

"Sam! Sam we gotta go!" I shouted, I could feel tears falling down my face, which was a very uncomfortable feeling for me.

"No! No!" Sam screamed as Dean helped me pull him out the door. "Jess! NO!"

We half carried, half dragged him down the stairs and out of the building before he came to his senses and shuffled his way to the Impala. Dean popped the trunk for him and Sam propped the false bottom up with a sawed-off. He pulled his out of the bag he was still carrying and threw it into the arsenal with a determined look on his face.

"We've got work to do." He growled, shutting the trunk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yoooo as usual I don't own the amazing that is Supernatural, but I do own all the stuff you don't recognize from the show as that is original content. I went back and combined all three parts into one chapter so it reads a little better and I started writing this on 9/17/13, and I posted it the day I finished it. Anyways, an original chapter should be coming up soon. Probably in between 'Skin' and 'Hook Man'. Read and Review please!**

* * *

Chapter 2: Wendigo

We stuck around for about eight days after Jess died so that we could attend the funeral. It was long, and made me realize how much of a freak I am, because I had my EMF detector on the whole time. Luckily, it never went off. Dean and I sat next to Sam during the service, and I have to say, that was one of the few times I'd ever seen Sam cry. He cried more often than Dean and I, but not by much.

Sam had brought a bouquet of flowers for her to be buried with, all sorts of beautiful colors, but there wasn't a single rose. I think I heard him blubber something about her thinking roses were lame, but at that point I wasn't paying much attention anymore. I was freezing my ass of in this dumb skirt that Dean made me wear, because 'it wasn't respectful' to wear jeans and a t-shirt, though I tried to convince him that Jess would've been okay with it.

"Hey, I'm real sorry man." A friend of Sam's, who's name I think might've been Brady, said as we were leaving.

"Thanks, Brady." Sam sniffed.

"So are these your siblings you're always talking about?" He asked, gesturing to Dean and me. We were standing far enough away that I had to strain to hear what he was saying, but he wasn't exactly whispering.

"Yeah, that's Alice, and that's Dean." Sam nodded, wiping his eyes.

"Dude, not meaning to be disrespectful or anything, but your sister's kinda hot." I heard Brady chuckle. My face turned beet red and Dean had to restrain me so I wouldn't punch the guy in the face.

"Not worth it," He grumbled. "But if it were I'd sock 'im for you."

In the corner of my eye I saw Sam giving Brady a questioning look before saying "Uh, sorry man, but she doesn't like your type."

"Oh, so she's more of the athlete kinda gal?" Brady inquired. Obviously this asshole couldn't take a hint. I couldn't believe he was doing this, _now _of all times.

"Um, more like she's into girls." Sam mumbled. I had to clamp a hand over my mouth to keep myself from laughing out loud at the expression on Brady's face. When we reached the Impala, Sam was pink in the face and looked like he was halfway in between laughter and tears.

"Haha, man do we have to explain that to every one of your friends?" Dean chuckled, he was right, almost ten people had asked that same question today, it was getting kind of pathetic.

"Apparently they can't grasp that it's a little inappropriate to ask out the sister of the ex-boyfriend at a funeral." Sam grimaced.

"Hey, I'm sorry man. We'll help you through this, okay? But right now we gotta get to Blackwater Ridge and try to find dad." I sighed. I was still pissed at dad for abandoning us with nothing but coordinates that he may or may not be at.

"Yeah, yeah." Sam sniffled. We all climbed into the car, and I let Sam ride in front. He was having a crappy-ass week and I wanted to change anyways.

The second we were on the road and changed into normal clothes Sam fell asleep and I turned to Dean.

"Please don't tell him-"

"Look, Alice, I have to tell him. If it could help, we need to know all we can about it." He snapped.

The drive was silent until Sam gasped and sat straight up almost fourteen hours later.

"Nightmare?" I asked, glancing over at him before returning to the road.

"Yeah, I'm okay though." He mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Wanna drive?" I suggested, not really wanting him to say yes, but if it meant he was happier I was willing to give up my quality time with the car.

"Your entire life you never ask me that question once," Sam scoffed. "Look man, I know you're worried about me, but I'm perfectly okay."

"Uh huh," I mumbled. "Just thought you might want to drive is all."

"I get it, and thank you, but I'm perfectly okay." He insisted, seeming as though he was trying to convince himself more than me.

Sam grabbed the map off of the dash.

"So where are we?" He sighed.

"Just outside of Grand Junction. Wake up Dean for me will you?" I grumbled as Dean let out a particularly loud snore.

"You know what," Sam muttered, putting down the map. "Maybe we shouldn't have left Stanford so soon."

"Sam, we dug around there for a week. We came up with nothing. If you wanna find the thing that killed Jessica—"

"We gotta find dad first." He finished, turning around in his seat to whack Dean on the arm.

"What?" Dean snapped, slapping Sam hard in the face.

"We just drove into Grand Junction, and I wanna stop for food." I replied sleepily, I had insisted on taking the wheel after only nine hours, and I hadn't slept well the night before, I had been afraid of what I might see.

"Mhm." He replied, unconvinced. I knew he could tell I was tired, but I refused to fall asleep before them.

"But Sammy, as I was saying, dad disappearing and this thing turning up again after like twenty years, it can't be a coincidence." I reasoned, keeping my eyes on the road.

"Dad'll have the answers. He'll know what to do." Dean agreed.

It was silent for a few moments, and I nearly dozed off.

"Al, let me drive, you can't keep your eyes open." Sam insisted.

I pulled over and stumbled out of the drivers side, I would've fallen over if Dean hadn't been there to catch me.

"Woah, easy there tiger." He chuckled nervously. Sam ran over and opened the backseat door and I was lain gently onto the leather seat.

"M'not tired." I insisted as I fell asleep.

_"Roy, you said you did a little hunting." Dean began._

_"More than a little." A sort of rough-and-tumble guy boasted, obviously thinking himself a macho guy._

_"Uh-huh. What kind of creatures you hunt?" Dean asked._

_"Mostly buck," The guy, Roy, shrugged. He looked at me and grinned. "Sometimes bear."_

_"Tell me, Bambi or Yogi ever hunt you back?" I demanded, not taking any of this guy's crap. Roy stopped Dean in his tracks._

_"Whatcha doin' there Roy?" Dean chuckled nervously. _

_The scene changed. Everyone other than Roy was standing in a clearing, the trees all had bloody claw marks on them._

_"What is it?" Dean asked as Sam poked him on the shoulder._

_"You know, I was thinking, these claw prints, so clear and distinct. They were almost too easy to follow." Sam admitted.  
__  
There was a loud growling noise and trees rustled angrily. The five of us whipped around, trying to follow the noise. Two drops landed on Haley's shoulder and she glanced up, then jumped away terrified as Roy's body fell from the branches._

_"You okay?" I inquired, helping her to her feet. She nodded quickly, obviously still spooked. I couldn't blame her, I had been terrified on my first hunt._

_"You got him?" Sam nodded to Roy as Dean leaned over him._

_"His neck's broke." Dean sighed._

* * *

I woke up pretty quietly for once, just sitting up and gasping as Sam and Dean came back to the car from some house. It was late afternoon already and I cursed at myself for sleeping so long.

"Thanks for stopping by, I know you guys must be busy." A hot chick I recognized from Haley from my dream said.

"Yeah no problem Haley, we'll be back if we hear anything about Tommy." Sam promised, digging through his pockets for the keys, which Dean held up and kept from him.

"See you up there I guess." She smiled, going back into the house. Briefly I saw a boy at the window, who was maybe seventeen. He had been in my dream too.

"See ya." Dean grinned, sliding into the car.

"I see you're awake." Sam sighed as he clambered into the passenger seat.

"I had another dream." I explained shortly.

"Did you need your inhaler?" Dean asked, his expression immediately changing to concern.

"No, I was okay. This one wasn't that bad," I shrugged. "Can we go get some food now? I'm starving."

"Yeah, me too. Can we hit a bar afterwards? I wanna get a drink." Sam sighed.

I gave him a worried look, it was usually Dean or I who suggested hitting the bar, even before any of us were technically legal, that is, before Sam left for college. If Sam suggested having a drink, then he was taking Jess' death worse than I'd thought.

"Sure." Dean mumbled, looking at Sam the same way I was.

* * *

Dinner was quiet, and we all got the same thing as usual. Dean and I got burgers and pie, and Sam got his healthy rabbit food crap.

We ended up going to a dive, like usual. It was easier to hustle pool when there was a pool table after all.

"I'm gonna go and hustle some pool." I whispered as we walked in.

"Hey, be careful. Don't piss 'em off, or get roofied." Dean warned as I waltzed to the bar.

"Has that happened?" Sam asked quietly, though I could still hear him.

"Nah, not yet. Though there was this one time in New York where a guy tried to. She kicked him in the jewels a few times." Dean assured him, going to a table.

"Get me some Jack, on the rocks," I told the bartender, slapping a five dollar bill on the table. "Actually, how much for the bottle?"

"Six." She replied, pulling a new bottle from under the bar and handing it to me with a glass of ice.

"Here you go." I winked, putting another dollar on the counter and walking over.

I stopped at Sam and Dean's table where they were talking about the case.

"Three frames," Sam was saying. "That's a fraction of a second. Whatever that thing is, it can move."

I set the bottle on the table and poured myself some.

"Really? A whole bottle?" Dean demanded.

"What? I deserve it, so does Sam. We've been having a rough week." I pouted, waving the waitress over to get two more glasses.

"Fine." Dean sighed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"You can have some too grumpy pants." I chuckled, pouring some for all of us.

"Slow down, that's your second glass in two minutes!" Sam exclaimed, smacking my wrist as I tried to take a drink.

"You're no fun," I grumbled, lowering the glass and setting it down. "Be back in a little bit, bring over the glass if they start to get handsy or whatever. Dean knows the drill."

"You know the drill?" Sam repeated incredulously, turning to Dean as I skipped to the pool table.

"We have a backup plan okay?" Dean defended.

I chuckled and went up to the guys playing already.

"Mind if I join you?" I giggled, picking up a pool cue and putting on the dumb blonde act.

"Not at all sweetheart," The bigger one drawled. "You mind we're playing for money? I wouldn't want you to loose everything by mistake."

"Oh you're too kind, but no it's okay, I don't care if I loose a little." I grinned, setting down a couple tens on the stack of bills.

They set it up again and let me start. I purposefully made a bad shot and giggled again.

"Woops! My bad!" I said. The dumb act made me feel sick every time I put it up, but by the end of the night I would be able to be myself, and they would be flocking to try to beat me if I played my cards right.

"Here, this is how you shoot." The smaller one chuckled. He knocked a few in, but the cue ball went in right after.

When it was my turn again I knocked in three with one shot.

"Beginners luck!" I chuckled, sweeping my hair over my shoulder.

"Must be." The bigger one agreed.

We played until the pot was up to over a hundred dollars, and I was getting to be more and more myself with them. Then I hit the twelve and eight in one after the other.

"Did you hustle us?" The smaller one demanded. I squared my shoulders, ready for the inevitable insults.

"No, I never said I wasn't any good. I just said I didn't care if I lost." I insisted.

"I'm afraid she's right gentlemen. Now if you would move along. I'd like to play the young miss." A man in a suit and fedora said, taking off his hat.

"Alright Rick Blaine." I joked.

"Very funny miss. You play first." He chuckled, putting down a fifty. I narrowed my eyes. This guy had to be pretty confident in his skills if he was betting that high, this early. I put down three twenties and lined everything up. I hit six balls in first go.

"Very good," The mysterious douche bag grinned, setting his hat down on the top rails. "My turn now." He hit in four.

"Hey Al!" Dean chuckled, acting as though he was spotting me for the first time and waving from his seat.

"Hey Don! How ya doin'?" I grinned as Dean handed me my drink.

"I'm good, I'm good. How are you?" He replied, going through the lines we'd rehearsed thousands of times for when he was worried the person I was hustling was shadier than usual.

"One sec," I said. "I just gotta finish playing, then we can catch up?"

"Yeah! Meet me over here? Oh and Henry's here too by the way." Dean pointed to Sam.

"Awesome, see you in a few." I called after him as he returned to his seat.

"Who was that?" Fedora douche inquired.

"My cousin, we don't get to talk very often." I shrugged, giving him my bullshit line.

"Ah." FD nodded as I hit in five more.

We played for two more minutes before I finally won.

"Looks like I just got beat." FD chuckled, handing me my winnings.

"No shit Sherlock." I grinned.

"Nice playing you, Al." He shook my hand.

"Never caught your name, what is it?" I asked.

"Nick, Nick Johnston." He replied as he put his hat back on and headed for the door. I went to where Dean and Sam were sitting and decked Dean on the head.

"What was that for?" He demanded, rubbing the back of his head.

"Why'd you use the plan on me? Fedora Douche wasn't even trying to make a move!" I hissed, sitting down and pouring more jack into my glass, which caused Sam to smack my hand again.

"Really? Cause he didn't seem like he was going to stop staring at you." Dean grumbled.

"He was a perfect gentleman," I sniffed, draining my glass and going for more. At that point Sam was trying to take the bottle away from me and put it on the other side of the table. "C'mon Sam! Give it back!"

"No! You don't need to drink that much! That's like your seventh glass. God, you're turning into dad." He snapped. His comment made me pale and I snatched my coat up from the bar.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked as I moved for the door.

"Out." I stated, flipping Sam the bird on my way.

The cold night air felt good, and I felt extremely dizzy. I sat on the hood of the car and picked at my nails as I waited for Dean to come out.

"You alright, Miss Al?" Nick inquired, walking up to me.

"Jesus! Nick, hey, you startled me. Nah I'm alright. Thanks for asking." I shrieked.

"Okay then. Goodnight. Be safe." He waved from his car. It was a powder blue '55 Oldsmobile, which made me want to laugh out loud. It was perfect. An old car for an old-fashioned guy.

I didn't sit out there for long before Dean swept out, clearly pissed off and followed by a shameful looking Sam.

"I'm sorry Al, I didn't mean-" He began, trying to explain himself.

"It's fine Sam, I shouldn't drink that much, you were right." I cut him off.

"Let's just go talk to that dude who survived an attack." Dean complained from the driver's side.

* * *

The drive over was uncomfortable, and I was glad when we got to the guy's house, until Dean locked the car with me still in it.

"Hey!" I whined, trying to open the door.

"Alice we'll be right back, just stay in the car, okay?" Dean called from the porch.

"Why do I have to stay?" I demanded, that's when I noticed my words were slurring and I was most likely drunker than I'd thought. No wonder I'd thought I felt dizzy, I was having trouble keeping my steps straight.

"That's why." Sam gestured at me, obviously meaning the slurring. I huffed and lay down in the back. I knew why I'd been drinking so much, and it had nothing to do with the nightmares, well, not all of it anyways. I'd gotten a call a few days back while Sam and Dean had been out from an old girlfriend of mine's mother. She'd said that Gabrielle had OD'd on something. I hadn't told her mother, but I was responsible, I had introduced her to drugs, and we'd gone to rehab for it. I'd thought she'd been fine.

I noticed I was crying and wiped the tears from my face with my jacket sleeve. Three minutes later and Sam and Dean were coming out the door and saying their goodbyes, so I sat up and hoped my eyes weren't red or puffy.

"You okay there kiddo?" Dean asked, obviously I had some display that I had been crying.

"Yeah." I lied, a little too quickly for my tastes. I leaned my head against the cool window and closed my eyes as they climbed in and we drove to some no-tell motel in town.

"So, this guy has no idea what attacked his parents when he was a kid, or why it spared him." Sam sighed, changing the subject.

"Well, spirits and demons don't have to go through doors. If they want inside they just go through walls." Dean grumbled.

"So it's probably something else, something corporeal." Sam reasoned, flipping through dad's journal.

"Corpr'eal? 'Scuze me proffes'r." I slurred. The alcohol was really getting to me now.

"I told you she shouldn't be drinking that much," Sam groaned, helping me out of the car and slinging an arm over his shoulder. "So what do you think?"

"The claws, the speed that it moves...could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog. Whatever we're talking about, we're talking about a creature, and it's 'corporeal'. Which means we can kill it." Dean shrugged, walking to the lobby.

Sam struggled to keep me up while I slipped in and out of consciousness, yet somehow managed to pop the trunk and grab his and my bags.

"Here, lemme take these. Room 208, second floor." Dean handed him the keys and took the bags.

"S'mmy I gotta tell ya sumthin'" I insisted as we got into the elevator.

"Al, you'll just regret it in the morning." Sam said exasperatedly. I'd forgotten he'd never seen me this drunk before.

"No I gotta tell you, you havta know why I drank," I pleaded as we got off. "You r'member Gabrielle?"

"Yeah?" He sighed, giving in.

"She passed last week, s'my fault S'mmy I int'rduced her to drugz." I cried, tears falling freely from my face.

"It's not your fault Alice, I promise. She made her own decisions." Sam replied, unlocking the door and laying me down on the bed closest to the bathroom.

"No, she wouldn' 'ave even _tried _it unlez I had made 'er." I sobbed, clinging to his arm. He looked uncomfortable, but let me hug him all the same. His shoulder was completely soaked by the time Dean came in with the stuff.

"Hey, what happened?" Dean asked, setting down the duffle bags and dashing over to us. I felt Sam move, probably giving Dean a pleading look as Dean then pulled me away from Sam and attempted to lay me down. I clung to him like a four year old who didn't want to go to bed and finally he gave in and let me rest against his chest, sobbing into his t-shirt.

"Remember Gabrielle?" Sam began. I cried harder and Dean started rubbing small circles on my back. "She passed shortly after Jess, and Alice thinks it's her fault because she brought her on that acid trip that one time."

"'That one time'? Dude they went all 'Alice In Wonderland', no pun intended, but, they tried everything they could get their hands on until I caught them and made Al go to rehab for a month." Dean scoffed angrily. Sam had been in college and only heard about it afterwards.

"Shuddup Dean, wuznt tha' bad." I grumbled into his shirt, still crying.

"Go to sleep Alice, we'll talk in the morning, if you remember." He ordered. I moved my head a little and slowed my breathing the best I could, luckily I was already half asleep so I was out in no time flat.

_"You should have saved me!" Gabrielle screamed. She looked terrible. Her eyes were gaunt and she had dark rings under them, her lovely red hair was a mess and was matted in several places. She had a chunk of hair missing and it was bloody around the area, like it was fresh._

_"I'm sorry Gabrielle! I would have come if I'd known!" I sobbed._

_"Bullshit! You knew rehab wouldn't work for me! You should've stuck around!" She shrieked, clawing at my eyes._

_"I'm so sorry! I'm so-"_

"AAAAAAAAH!" I screamed bloody murder, sitting straight up on the bed. Dean was still laying next to me, arm wrapped around my shoulders protectively like he used to when I was little.

"Hey, hey. Shhhhh, it's okay, it's okay." Dean reassured me, rubbing my back and holding me to his chest.

"W-what time is it?" I sobbed blearily.

"It's three AM. Go back to sleep. Shhhh." Dean mumbled, falling backwards slightly before catching himself.

"Eughhhh." I groaned, gripping my chest. It was getting harder to breathe.

"Shit. SAM!" Dean yelled startling Sam out of bed, he landed on the floor with a loud thump.

"What?" He demanded. "Dean it's three AM what-"

"I need Alice's inhaler! It's in the first bag, nearest the door." Dean explained, pointing to it.

"Yeah one sec," Sam replied, digging frantically through my bag. He finally found it as I began wheezing and coughing. "Here."

He thrust it into Dean's hands and he shook it and tried to put it in my mouth, but I was coughing so badly I couldn't keep it in.

"Hey you gotta calm down a second." He insisted, finally just giving the inhaler to me. I was able to jam it into my mouth and take the two quick puffs in between a cough.

"Oh thank God." I sighed, falling backwards into Dean's chest and letting the inhaler fall out of my hand.

"Let's all get some sleep." Dean yawned as I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I ducked my head into the toilet and puked up everything I had in my stomach.

"Ughh." I moaned, clutching my stomach.

"You okay in there kiddo?" Sam called through the door.

"Yeah, just a hangover. You guys go to sleep." I replied, pulling my hair back into a bun with a hair tie from my wrist.

"Alright." He stifled a yawn and I heard him shuffle back to bed.

I spent the next ten minutes kneeling over the toilet bowl and throwing up intermittently before I finally felt well enough to flush it and brush my teeth. I washed up and crawled back into bed, laying my head back on Dean's chest gently as he snored away.

* * *

"Hey wake up." Dean chuckled, swatting at my head which was still on his chest.

"Nghhh." I groaned when I opened my eyes. Did they have to turn on every damn light in the room?

"Rise 'n shine Al." Sam grinned, throwing my bag to the end of the bed.

"Screw you." I mumbled, clutching at my head.

"Here," Dean said, throwing me a bottle of pills from his bag, which I instinctively caught. "This'll help with the headache."

"Acetaminophen?" I scoffed, reading the label. "You sure you want to trust me with this?"

"You won't get addicted," He shrugged. "'Cause you're not getting more than two."

"Rude." I grumbled, taking the two allotted pills and throwing the bottle back at him. Luckily for me, he didn't expect that, so he got hit in the head.

"Ow!" He exclaimed, rubbing the spot where it hit him.

"Will you two cut it out?" Sam demanded. "We're going up to Blackwater Ridge today so get you're hiking boots, or whatever you got."

I rolled out of bed and grabbed clothes out of my bag. I started to change, but Sam yelped.

"Dude! Seriously?" He complained as I stood with no shirt on.

"What, never seen boobs before?" I smirked, digging a bra out of my pile of clothes.

"Ugh, I don't wanna see my sister's!" He grumbled, turning away.

"Then don't look at me while I'm changing you perv!" I sighed exasperatedly and threw a boot at his head.

"Ow!" He cried, rubbing the back of his head.

"Dude you kinda deserve it, she's done this for what, five or six years now?" Dean laughed. He was thankfully busy packing the hiking bag with peanut M&M's, weapons, and a spare change of clothes for all of us.

"And yet you still haven't learned," I chuckled, pulling my shirt and jeans on. I had given up getting privacy for changing because it wasted valuable time during hunts. Also, I just didn't care anymore. It wasn't like they were random people at the gym, and Dean had been the one to give Sammy and I baths when we were little so he especially didn't care, but respectfully turned away. "It's safe to look now."

"Oh thank God, I definitely don't _ever_ want to see that again." Sam groaned.

"Wimp." I snickered, grabbing my biker boot from the floor and tugging it on over my sock. He was bright red in the face, which only made me laugh harder.

* * *

We drove to the entrance to the hiking trail that would lead to Blackwater Ridge, and ran into Haley and her brother, with the man I recognized as Roy.

"I'll tell you again, I don't think Ben should come!" Roy was saying.

"Roy-" Haley began.

"Look, you're paying me good money to keep everybody safe. I think Ben's safest at home." He insisted.

"You guys got room for two more?" Dean asked, taking the duffle bag from me.

"Wait, you guys want to come with us?" Haley scoffed.

"Who are these guys?" Roy demanded.

"Apparently this is all the park service could muster up for the search and rescue." Haley grumbled as I fell on my face. _Smooth moves there_ I thought, wiping dirt from my face.

"Dean you suck I need more acetaminophen." I complained. My head was killing me.

"No little sister, I rock, and if you have any more right now you're going to OD. So tough it out." He corrected, patting me on the back and making me trip again.

"You're rangers?" Roy chuckled, pointing at the three of us.

"That's right." Dean nodded.

"And you're hiking out in biker boots and jeans?" Haley sounded like she couldn't believe us.

"Well sweetheart, I don't do shorts." I smirked, walking up the hill.

What, you think this is funny? It's dangerous back country out there. Her brother might be hurt." Roy snapped.

"Believe me, I know how dangerous it can be. We just wanna help them find their brother, that's all." Dean insisted.

* * *

I walked in step with Haley for a while, luckily left to my own thoughts. If that could be constituted as a good thing.

"Roy, you said you did a little hunting." Dean began.

"More than a little." Roy boasted, obviously thinking himself a macho guy.

"Uh-huh. What kind of creatures you hunt?" Dean asked.

"Mostly buck," Roy, shrugged. He looked at me and grinned. "Sometimes bear."

"Tell me, Bambi or Yogi ever hunt you back?" I demanded, not taking any of this guy's crap. Roy stopped Dean in his tracks.

"Whatcha doin' there Roy?" Dean chuckled nervously. Roy jammed a stick into a bear trap that was steps away from Dean's feet.

"You should watch where you're stepping, ranger." Roy spat.

"It's a bear trap." Dean chuckled, trying to catch up to me. I waved him off to stay back with Sam.

"You didn't pack any provisions. You guys are carrying a _duffel_ bag. You're not rangers," Haley hissed at me. She grabbed my arm and I winced visibly. "So who the hell are you?"

The moment I'd winced Dean had been at my side so I gave him a look that told him to keep going.

"Sam's my twin brother, and Dean's our older brother. We're looking for our father. He might be here, we don't know. I just figured that you and me, we're in the same boat." I replied hurriedly.

"Why didn't you just tell me that from the start?" She complained, not letting go of my wrist.

"I'm telling you now. 'sides, it's probably the most honest I've ever been with a girl...ever. So can you let go of me?" I asked.

"Yeah, okay." She sighed, dropping my arm.

"And what do you mean I didn't pack provisions?" I demanded, holding up the bag of peanut M&M's and grabbing a handful. I walked on, catching up to Sam and Dean, who stole the bag of M&M's immediately.

* * *

It took another two hours of walking before one of us said anything else.

"This is it. Blackwater Ridge." Roy announced, holding up his GPS.

"What coordinates are we at?" Sam asked, pointing to it.

"35 and minus 111" He replied.

We all looked at each other uneasily.

"You hear that?" Dean whispered.

"Not even crickets." I grumbled. That was never a good sign.

"I'm gonna go take a look around." Roy said after a few seconds.

"You shouldn't go off by yourself." I warned.

"That's sweet," He grinned. "Don't worry about me." I was starting to think that just maybe he deserved what I'd seen in my dream.

"All right," Dean clapped his hands together. "Everybody stays together, let's go."

We walked around to a big rock and poked around there for a few moments.

"Haley! Over here!" Roy called. We all ran for the direction he was in.

"Oh my God." Haley breathed. The campsite was in ruin, the tents were bloodied and ripped, and stuffing from sleeping bags strewn across the ground.

"Looks like a grizzly." Roy mused. I snorted, whatever this was, it was _not_ a grizzly bear. No, that would be a great break, but we didn't have that kind of luck.

"Tommy?" Haley asked to the forest. She set down her pack. "Tommy!"

"Shhh." Sam hissed.

"Tommy!" She cried.

"Shhhh!" He repeated.

"Why?" Haley demanded.

"Something might still be out there." Sam reasoned.

"Sam, Alice," Dean called from the other side of the campsite. We went over and crouched next to him. "The bodies were dragged from the campsite, but here, the tracks just vanish. That's weird."

"What about our lives isn't weird?" I chuckled.

Dean ignored me.

"I'll tell you what, that's no skinwalker or black dog." He insisted, lowering his voice.

We went back to the others to see Haley crying over a broken GPS phone that must've belonged to Tommy.

"Hey, he could still be alive." Dean shrugged, trying to lighten the mood a little. Haley gave him a weak smile.

"HELP! HELP!" A voice screamed from somewhere deeper in the forest.

I snatched my knife out of my boot. Roy started running towards the noise, and we all followed, dropping our bags to the ground.

"HELP! SOMEBODY!" It screeched. We stopped at the place we'd thought it'd been coming from.

"Sounded like it was coming from somewhere around here didn't it?" Haley asked when we found no one. We all waited a minute, straining to try to hear any sound of movement.

"Everybody back to camp." Sam ordered calmly, leading the way.

We jogged back to see that our bags were all gone without a trace.

"Our packs." Haley complained.

"So much for my GPS and my satellite phone." Roy grumbled. I nearly laughed at him, but I knew it would be inappropriate so I kept my mouth shut.

"What the hell is going on?" She demanded, looking to Dean and me for answers.

"It's smart. It wants to cut us off so we can't call for help." Sam explained.

"You mean someone, some nutjob out there just stole our gear?" Roy snapped.

Sam walked up to Dean and said something quietly that made him pull me over a little ways from the rest of the group.

"Let me see dad's journal." Sam urged, holding out a hand. Dean reached into his jacket and handed the leather book to him.

Sam dug through the notebook, leafing through entries I could probably recite from memory until he landed on the one about Wendigo.

"All right, check that out." He said, pointing to the drawing.

"Oh come on, Wendigos are in the Minnesota woods or, or northern Michigan. I've never even heard of one this far west." Dean scoffed.

"Think about it, Dean, the claws, the way it can mimic a human voice." Sam pointed out.

"Great." I huffed. Why it would kill Roy though was beyond me. Usually Wendigo kept their victims strung up somewhere to feed, not kill them outright and leave them around to rot. Dean pulled his pearl and silver handled gun out of the back of his jeans.

"Well then, this is useless." He grumbled, stuffing it back in. Sam pushed the journal into my hands and I threw it to Dean. I would've pocketed it myself, but Dean insisted that I dress like a girl so I had pockets that were maybe a third of the size of theirs.

"We gotta get these people to safety." Sam sighed.

We walked into the campsite as Dean chucked the book back to me. I didn't expect it and it hit me in the head and knocked me over. Dean threw way too hard.

"All right listen up, it's time to go. Things have gotten more...Complicated." Sam announced to the group at large. I stood up slowly and started whacking Dean with the book repeatedly.

"What?" Haley implored as Dean finally got the book away from me.

"Kid, don't worry. Whatever's out there, I think I can handle it." Roy chuckled. Dean and I were elbowing each other in the ribs now.

"Stop it!" I hissed. This just made Dean casually trip me when I tried to walk over to Sam. "Asshole."

"It's not me I'm worried about. If you shoot this thing, you're just gonna make it mad. We have to leave. Now." Sam explained, glaring at Dean and me. The two of us were having a staring contest now, and if looks could kill, the both of us would be smears on the ground.

"One, you're talking nonsense. Two, you're in no position to give anybody orders." Roy protested, glancing over to us.

"Relax." Dean insisted, finally breaking his stare. I punched him in the arm. He'd cheated by snapping his fingers in my face.

"We never should have let you come out here in the first place, all right? I'm trying to protect you." Sam said.

He turned to us and made Dean put me down. He'd slung me over his shoulder like a rag doll and I was punching him as hard as I could from my awkward position.

"Will you two cut it out?" He snapped, shoving us apart.

"You protect me? I was hunting these woods when your mommy was still kissing you good night." Roy growled, stepping up to where he was right in Sam's personal space.

"Yeah? It's a damn near perfect hunter. It's smarter than you, and it's gonna hunt you down and eat you alive unless we get your stupid sorry ass out of here." Sam retorted, standing his ground.

"You know you're crazy, right?" Roy laughed.

"Yeah? You ever hunt a Wen—" Dean shoved Sam back away from Roy.

"Roy!" Haley exclaimed.

"Chill out." Dean mumbled to Sam.

"Stop. Stop it. Everybody just stop. Look. Tommy might still be alive. And I'm not leaving here without him." Haley said.

"It's getting late. This thing is a good hunter in the day, but an unbelievable hunter at night. We'll never beat it, not in the dark. We need to settle in and protect ourselves." Dean sighed after an unbearably long pause.

"How?" She demanded.

* * *

Haley, Roy, and Ben built up a fire while Sam, Dean, and I poured over dad's journal, studying the symbols we had to draw on the ground. Haley poked at the fire as we crouched to the ground and drew in the dirt.

"One more time, that's-" She began.

"Anasazi symbols. It's for protection. The Wendigo can't cross over them." Dean explained. Roy laughed and slung his gun over his shoulder.

"Nobody likes a skeptic Roy." I warned. Dean and I finished our symbols and walked over to Sam on the other side of the campsite.

"You wanna tell me what's going on in that freaky head of yours?" Dean suggested.

"Dean—" Sam complained"No, you're not fine. You're like a powder keg, man, it's not like you. We're supposed to be the belligerent ones, remember?" I joked.

"Dad's not here. I mean, that much we know for sure, right? He would have left us a message, a sign, right?" Sam fussed.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Tell you the truth, I don't think Dad's ever been to Lost Creek." Dean agreed.

"Then let's get these people back to town and let's hit the road. Go find Dad. I mean, why are we still even here?" Sam argued.

"This is why." I snapped, holding up the journal, which Dean then stole from my hands.

"This book. This is Dad's single most valuable possession—everything he knows about every evil thing is in here. And he's passed it on to us. I think he wants us to pick up where he left off. You know, saving people, hunting things. The family business." Dean insisted.

Sam shook his head. "That makes no sense. Why doesn't he just—call us? Why doesn't he—tell us what he wants, tell us where he is?"

"I dunno. But the way I see it, Dad's giving us a job to do, and I intend to do it." I grumbled, shoving Dean a little.

"Guys...no. I gotta find Dad. I gotta find Jessica's killer. It's the only thing I can think about." Sam admitted.

"Okay, all right, Sam, we'll find them, I promise. Listen to me. You've gotta prepare yourself. I mean, this search could take a while, and all that anger, you can't keep it burning over the long haul. It's gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man." Dean contended.

Sam looked down at his shoes and then back up at us.

"How do you guys do it? How does dad do it?" He pleaded.

"For one thing, them," Dean replied, jerking his thumb back at the others. "I mean, I figure our family's so screwed to hell, maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little bit more bearable."

"I'll tell you what else helps," I grinned. Sam looked to me, surprised by my happy tone. "Killing as many evil sons of bitches as I possibly can."

Sam looked away, grinning.

"You guys are too alike, I swear, one day you're just going to morph into one person." He joked. A twig snapped in the distance and we spun around to face the direction the disturbance had come from.

"Help me! Please!" A voice, probably the Wendigo, cried.

Dean stood up and readied his gun.

"Help!" It repeated. Sam pointed his flashlight in the voice's general direction.

"He's trying to draw us out. Just stay cool, stay put." Dean reminded us.

"What, stay in the magic circle?" Roy snorted.

"Help! Help me!" The Wendigo was just getting annoying now. It could come up with some other thing to yell, make it a little interesting at the very least.

A low guttural growl came from the same place as the voice. That was worrying.

"Okay, that's no grizzly." Roy admitted, pointing his gun at the source of the noise.

"It's okay. You'll be all right, I promise." Haley whispered to Ben.

The trees rustled viciously and Haley shrieked.

"It's here." Sam said.

Roy shot at the rustling, there was a cry of pain.

"I hit it!" He shouted excitedly. He ran to see what it was.

"Roy, no! Roy!" Dean called after him. "Don't move."

He pulled out his gun and motioned for Sam and me to follow him.

"It's over here! It's in the tree!" I heard Roy exclaim. There was a sickening crunch and Sam spun towards it, shining the flashlight into a clump of trees. Roy's neck was snapped and I knew it. I fell to my knees, head spinning. Roy's blood was on my hands now, I could've saved him, but I didn't.

"You okay there Al?" Sam asked worriedly.

"My fault, all my fault." I mumbled.

"What's your fault?" Dean demanded.

"Roy. I knew he was gonna die, but I didn't do anything to stop him." I breathed, clutching my face in my hands.

"Alice there's no way you could have known! Unless..." Dean trailed off. "Have you been having nightmares again?"

"No," I shook my head. "They've been when I was awake. I get these headaches and-"

"So, visions," He concluded, lifting me to my feet. "Let's get back to the circle and then we can talk more. We're not safe here."

"Right." Sam nodded, looking at me uneasily as we walked back.

"Where's Roy?" Haley asked the moment we came into view.

"It took him." I replied, wiping my eyes and trying to not have another breakdown. _Your fault _something in my head whispered. _Shut up! _I screamed inwardly.

"If you excuse us, we need to talk about some, uh, family matters, over here." Dean mumbled, dragging me and Sam to the other end of the circle.

"So, what's this about visions?" Sam prompted when nobody spoke for a while.

"Uh, during the thing with the Woman In White, on the bridge I saw the inside of dad's motel room. Like, it was exactly the same down to how many cats-eye shells there were. And then, in the cop car, I saw Jess burning. I'm sorry I should have said something." I explained, biting my lip to keep myself from crying.

"Before that, even before New Orleans, she had a nightmare that dad went missing in Jericho, and that Constance chick gouged you." Dean continued for me.

"Any idea-?" Sam trailed off.

"Why it's happening? No clue." Dean admitted, patting my shoulder gently. If we were ever in a lineup like in _The Usual Suspects _it would be almost comical, just with our height differences. Sammy towered above us, which I guess we deserved since we used to make fun of him for being the shortest, and then Dean was pretty tall as well, yet somehow, I was tiny compared to them. I reached only 5'11", whereas Dean was 6'0" and Sam was near 6'4" if I had to guess. It took all I had to not laugh at us, standing in a perfect slope.

"What's so funny?" Sam asked.

"Nothing," I chuckled, clamping a hand over my mouth. "Okay fine, it's just, you guys are so tall! It's hilarious, just standing here in a perfect slope."

"Dude, are you okay?" Dean inquired, actually very concerned sounding.

"Yeah, I haven't taken anything, if that's what you're asking." I replied.

"What about your flask? Did you drink any of that?" He persisted, obviously convinced I was high, or drunk, or something.

"No, you can check it too. I filled it up to the brim this morning. I'm fine, just stressed." I insisted, handing over my flask.

Dean shook it and seemed satisfied with its fullness. He handed it back to me and Sam sat down on a stump.

"Hey, we should all get some rest." I announced, suddenly very aware of how tired I was. It was only 9 PM according to my watch, but it had been a long day of hiking and being lured out of the camp by a Wendigo.

"Someone should keep watch, just in case. We could all take turns." Ben suggested.

"I'll take first shift, I'm not that tired." Haley said. I didn't quite believe her, since she yawned five seconds later, but I didn't say anything. Dean took second, and Sam took third. Ben tried to take fourth, but Haley refused to let him be up by himself, so I wound up volunteering to keep watch with him, to keep them both happy.

Sleep didn't come easily for me that night. It was cold, and we didn't have blankets for one, and for another, I kept hearing the Wendigo snap twigs and growl as it circled the camp. When I did fall asleep, I dreamed of Gabrielle again, but this time, Jess and Roy joined her.

_"You could have saved us! You were supposed to!" They shrieked. Jess had burns all over her body, and her hair was charred. Roy was bleeding profusely and his neck was bent at a strange angle._

_"I'm sorry! I should have tried. I know I should have!" I sobbed, covering my face with my hands and praying, actually praying, that they would go away. I prayed to anyone who would listen, but the apparitions kept coming towards me, and when they reached me they began to claw at my skin, and ripped it to shreds, but I still didn't wake up._

_I would have cried out for them to stop, but I knew I deserved it. I had failed them. They'd needed me, and I hadn't been competent enough to save them._

* * *

I'd woken up crying to Ben shaking me awake. I flinched away involuntarily.

"Sorry, He mumbled. "You were crying in your sleep, and it's our turn anyways." He walked back over to where his sister was sleeping.

"Thanks." I replied blearily. I took a long drag of my flask, and wanted to just drain the whole thing then and there, but thought better of it. It was going to be a long day, and we had to fight the Wendigo.

I would have drifted off to sleep, but it was cold, and I could still hear what I assumed was the damn creature. I thought bitterly that maybe Sam was right in wanting out, this friggin' sucked.

Two hours later and Sam woke up with a quiet shout.

"You okay Sammy?" I asked, taking another sip of my flask.

"Yeah, just another nightmare. Are you really drinking this early?" He retorted, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Shove off." I grumbled, pulling my jacket closer around me. If Dean didn't start letting me buy men's jackets I was going to freeze my ass off, or die in some horrible way because I couldn't fit something in my pockets.

"No need to get angry." Sam threw his hands up in defense. It didn't take long for Haley and Dean to wake up, and of course Dean started nagging me right off the bat.

"Dude! No." He snapped, swatting the flask out of my hands.

"Hey! I was drinking that you asshat!" I complained, picking it back up and rubbing the dirt off the mouth. "You just got rid of like, half of what's left."

"Good." He stated, standing up to restart the fire. I stuck my tongue out at him and massaged my head. I was trying to remember what had happened when I'd gotten drunk, but I couldn't for the life of me. I shrugged and raised the flask to my lips again. To hell with saving it for later, I was cold and it felt nice.

"Are you trying to give yourself alcohol poisoning? Cut it out with the drinking Al." Sam demanded, taking the flask from me and stuffing it into his pocket.

"So what?" I spat, trying desperately to get it back.

"So what? So, dad would be disappointed," Dean said. "And I am too, I didn't raise you like this Alice, and you know better."

"Excuse me, but you literally did raise me into this. Here I am." I waved my arms. I was completely pissed that Sam had taken my whiskey away, and that he would pull the dad card.

"What's up with you three?" Haley demanded. "You never stop bickering."

"Just some family issues." Sam shrugged, dodging a punch I threw at him.

"Yeah I can see that." She snorted. Sam took dad's journal out of his pocket and sat back on his stump. When he'd gotten it I had no idea, last time I'd checked Dean'd had it.

The rest of us huddled by the fire and no one spoke for a while.

"I don't...I mean, these types of things, they aren't supposed to be real." Haley sighed.

"I wish I could tell you different." Dean admitted

"How do we know it's not out there watching us?" She asked timidly.

"We don't. But we're safe for now." I explained, gesturing to the symbols, which were still intact.

"How do you know about this stuff?" Ben inquired.

"Kind of runs in the family." I joked.

Sam walked over and stood a few feet away from us.

"Hey." He started.

We all stood up and looked to him.

"So we've got half a chance in the daylight. And I for one want to kill this evil son of a bitch." Sam explained.

"Well, hell, you know we're in." Dean chuckled.

Sam flipped to the page we'd been reading last night.

"'Wendigo' is a Cree Indian word. It means 'evil that devours'." He said. I thought that particular piece of information was pretty useless, but if Sam was mentioning it, it meant he was probably leading up to something.

"They're hundreds of years old. Each one was once a man. Sometimes an Indian, or other times a frontiersman or a miner or hunter." Dean continued.

"How's a man turn into one of those things?" Haley asked.

"Well, it's always the same. During some harsh winter a guy finds himself starving, cut off from supplies or help. Becomes a cannibal to survive, eating other members of his tribe or camp." I said.

"Like the Donner party?" Ben suggested.

"Cultures all over the world believe that eating human flesh gives a person certain abilities. Speed, strength, immortality." Sam nodded.

"If you eat enough of it, over years, you become this less than human thing. You're always hungry." I grimaced. Having a constant case of the munchies did not sound very fun.

"So if that's true, how can Tommy still be alive?" She demanded.

"You're not gonna like it." I sighed.

Dean glanced at Sam, then back to Haley.

"Tell me." She pleaded.

"More than anything, a wendigo knows how to last long winters without food. It hibernates for years at a time, but when it's awake it keeps its victims alive. It, uh, it stores them, so it can feed whenever it wants. If your brother's alive, it's keeping him somewhere dark, hidden, and safe. We gotta track it back there." Dean said.

"And then how do we stop it?" Ben asked.

"Well, guns are useless, so are knives. Basically—"

I held up the can of lighter fluid, beer bottle, and the white cloth I'd picked up.

"We gotta torch the sucker." I finished.

* * *

I have to say, walking through the forest with a Molotov cocktail in hand, chasing down a superhuman cannibal was pretty strange, though sadly, I had done weirder. Haley stuck close to us, practically clinging to Ben as she walked.

We passed a tree that had bloody claw marks and I ran up to Dean.

"We're going to find Roy in a little while, and Sam's going to say something about it being almost too easy to track the thing." I hissed in his ear.

"O.K. on one hand, great that you can warn us about stuff, but on the other hand, that's just plain creepy." He mumbled.

We walked a good ten more minutes before we reached the tiny clearing from my dream.

"What is it?" Dean asked as Sam poked him on the shoulder.

"You know, I was thinking, these claw prints, so clear and distinct. They were almost too easy to follow." Sam admitted.

There was a loud growling noise and trees rustled angrily. The five of us whipped around, trying to follow the noise. Two drops land on Haley's shoulder and she looked up, then jumped away, terrified as Roy's body fell from the branches.

"You okay?" I inquired, helping her to her feet. She nodded quickly, obviously still spooked. I couldn't blame her, I had been terrified on my first hunt.

"You got him?" Sam nodded to Roy as Dean leaned over him.

"His neck's broke." Dean sighed. There was another growling noise and Haley jumped again.

"Okay, run, run, run, run, go, go, go!" Dean shouted. I ran as hard as I could, trying my hardest not to trip. I wasn't a damn horror movie chick, I was trained for this. Of course, I was distracted by Haley screaming just feet away from me and I slammed into a tree. I was out cold in seconds.

I came to as the Wendigo was dragging us back to it's hideout and twisted a little bit to see Dean dropping a few M&M's every couple of feet.

"Wha' are ya doin'?" I whispered, my words slurring, obviously I'd gotten a concussion.

"Shh, leaving a trail." He breathed. My vision blurred and I fell unconscious again when I hit my head on a root.

* * *

I woke up to Dean shaking my shoulders gently. He looked a little worse for wear, but when he cut me down, I couldn't even hold my own weight.

"Hey, hey, you're okay. Sam help me here." He said, struggling to pick me up. Sam scooped me up, princess-style.

"Tommy..." Haley sobbed, spotting her brother hanging from the ceiling.

She put a hand gentle hand on his cheek and he jolted awake. She shrieked and started crying. _Man, _I thought _are all normal chicks this easily spooked?. __  
_

"Cut him down!" She cried. Dean took the knife from Sam and cut Tommy down. Haley slung one of his arms around her shoulder and helped him to his feet.

"Check it out." Dean chuckled, picking up something from the pile of stolen stuff.

"Flare guns. Those'll work." Sam said, grinning.

Dean and Sam led the way out of the tunnel, and my vision focused and unfocused every once in a while.

There was a deep growl that came from one of the side tunnels.

"Looks like someone's home for supper." Dean grumbled, readying the gun.

"We'll never outrun it." Haley complained.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" He asked.

"Yeah, I think so." Sam sighed.

"All right, listen to me. Stay with Sam. He's gonna get you out of here." Dean said.

"What are you gonna do?" Haley asked worriedly.

Dean winked at her and started to walk away from us.

"Chow time, you freaky bastard! Yeah, that's right, bring it on, baby, I taste _good_." He yelled.

I couldn't make out anything else he said, but if I knew my brother at all, it would be all insults and bad jokes. Nothing less than what I would do.

We waited a few more seconds in silence.

"All right, come on! Hurry!" Sam said, walking down the cavern as fast as he could with me in his arms.

A loud growl came from closer to us than I would have expected and Sam raised a flare gun. He quickly adjusted to me so that I was on his back.

"Get him out of here." He waved Haley to the entrance.

"Sam! No!" She protested.

"Go! _Go!_ Go!" He shouted.

"Come on, Haley!" Ben said, dragging her by the arm. She sent a glance at us before helping Ben and Tommy out.

Sam pointed his flare gun down the opposite end of the tunnel.

"Come on, come on." He mumbled.

There was a growl right behind us and Sam spun around and shot at the Wendigo, I couldn't really tell, but I think he missed. He sprinted for the opening, and I had to cling as hard as I could so as not to fall off.

"Sam!" Haley shrieked

"Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry." He mumbled, shifting me upwards a little more.

We ran to the end of the tunnel, the Wendigo right behind.

"Get behind me." Sam said, trying not to drop me.

Sam was somehow large enough to hide all three Collins'.

The Wendigo approached, taking its time.

Dean crept up behind it, flare gun raised.

"Hey!" He shouted.

The Wendigo turned, Dean shot it in the stomach. The flare went off and the it went up in flames.

"Not bad, huh?" He grinned.

* * *

"And the bear came back again after you yelled at it?" The officer asked.

"That's when it circled the campsite. I mean, this grizzly must have weighed eight hundred, nine hundred pounds." Ben continued.

Sam nodded in agreement.

"All right, we'll go after it first thing." The officer sighed.

I could see Dean talking to Haley, who grinned like Dean had said some cheesy-ass pick-up line, which he probably had. She talked to a paramedic for a second, and then kissed Dean's cheek before jumping into the ambulance.

"Man, I hate camping." Dean sighed, sitting next to me on the hood of the car. I pulled the ice pack away from my head.

"Me too." I groaned, lightly pressing the pack back on.

The ambulance pulled out of the lot, sirens blaring. I winced again, and pinched the bridge of my nose. I knew it was broken, but it had been fixed already.

"Sam, you know we're gonna find Dad, right?" Dean said after a few minutes.

"Yeah, I know. But in the meantime? I'm driving." Sam smirked.

Dean tossed him the keys and we all piled in the car.

"You okay then, Alice?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. I mean, my arm and nose are broken, I have a concussion, and I sprained my ankle, but yeah. I'll be fine." I shrugged.

"You know what I mean." He sighed.

"I told you, I'm fine." I lied.

He mumbled something under his breath, but I couldn't bring myself to care about hearing him, so I lay down and pulled my only blanket over me.

Soon, classic rock filled the car and I fell asleep. For once, I didn't have a nightmare.


	3. Chapter 3

**Still don't own SPN, but I do own my character Alice and all the stuff ya don't recognize. There's gonna be a lot more issues and development with Alice in these next few chapter as I'm still trying to set her up. All aboard the angst train to self-hateville. I don't have a beta though as you can probably tell I'd super duper appreciate one so if you want to beta this fic just let me know!**

* * *

Chapter Three: Dead In The Water

Dean and I sat at a booth in a diner in some town that I couldn't remember the name of. I was struggling to eat my pie lefthanded, and Dean was going over the obituary section of the newspaper.

"Can I get you anything else?" The waitress, Wendy, asked.

Dean looked up and grinned at her around the pen he was chewing on. Sam slid into his seat and stole the fork from me.

"Hey!" I complained.

"Just the check, please." Sam said, shoving the fork in my mouth. I glared at him, he'd wound up getting pie filling all down my chin.

"Okay." Wendy nodded, walking away.

Dean joined me in glaring at Sam before I turned away to wipe my face.

"You know, Sam, we are allowed to have fun once in a while." Dean grumbled.

Dean pointed at Wendy, who I could now see was wearing short shorts.

"That's fun." I agreed, wincing as I moved my arm.

Sam gave us an annoyed look and shook his head.

"Here, take a look at this, I think I got one. Lake Manitoc, Wisconsin. Last week Sophie Carlton, eighteen, walks into the lake, doesn't walk out. Authorities dragged the water; nothing. Sophie Carlton is the third Lake Manitoc drowning this year. None of the other bodies were found either. They had a funeral two days ago." Dean read.

"A funeral?" Sam scoffed.

"Yeah, it's weird, they buried an empty coffin. For, uh, closure or whatever." I chuckled, taking a sip of my coffee.

"Closure? What closure? People don't just disappear, Alice. Other people just stop looking for them." He grumbled.

"Something you want to say to me?" I demanded.

"The trail for Dad. It's getting colder every day." He sighed.

"Exactly. So what are we supposed to do?" Dean asked, putting two bills on the tray and standing up. Sam slid out of the booth and helped me up.

"I don't know. Something. Anything." He said, handing me a crutch.

"You know what? I'm sick of this attitude. You don't think I wanna find Dad as much as you do?" Dean snapped.

"Yeah, I know you do, it's just—" Sam sighed. I shakily stood up and started hobbling to the car, the two of them followed close behind.

"We're the ones that've been with him every single day for the past two years, while you've been off to college going to pep rallies. We _will_ find Dad, but until then, we're gonna kill everything bad between here and there. Okay?" Dean replied. I reached the car and leaned against the door, still ticked off that I had to leave the driving and tinkering up to Dean and Sam until I was healed.

Dean stopped in his tracks, turning to look at our waitress, who was bending over something.

"All right, Lake Manitoc. Hey!" Sam snapped his fingers in Dean's face.

"Huh?" Dean grinned, turning back to us.

"How far?" Sam continued.

"Few hours." I said as he opened the door for me.

* * *

We pulled up in front of this green house right on the lake right at 2:30. Dean and Sam went up to the house and flashed their badges. I was left out again because I couldn't really pass for an agent with all of my injuries.

There was an older guy, probably older than dad, sitting out on the dock. Dean, Sam, and the other guy walked over to the lake shore. The guy started gesturing and talking with his hands. I entertained myself by making up dialogue.

"That's where the lake monster burst out on the surface and swallowed her whole. My father is legally insane please ignore him. He thinks the lake monster looked like a green cheetah." I said in a ridiculous voice. Man I was such a little kid.

"Hey there you feelin' alright Al? What's with all the laughing?" Dean asked worriedly as he swung himself into the car.

"You guys are funny." I giggled. That pain medication was pretty strong, but it took a while to kick in which gave me about ten minutes every six hours where I could have intelligent conversation.

"Okay then." Sam chuckled, closing the door.

We drove to the police station and I was surprised when they made me go in with them.

"Come on." Dean grunted, helping me up.

"I thought I wasn't supposed 'ta leave the car?" I mumbled hazily.

"Change of plans, you're coming in with us." Dean replied. I thought this wasn't a very good answer and would have complained if I wasn't putting all my energy into staying upright.

"M'kay." I whispered, limping through the doors.

"Hey, we're here to talk to the sheriff? We're from the National Wildlife Service. It's about the recent drownings." Sam said, flashing their badges at the desk.

"And her?" The guy asked, gesturing to me. I waved happily. "Is she an agent too?"

"My sister, I have to take care of her while she's on her meds. If that's not too much trouble." Sam rushed.

"It's cool." He nodded.

"Now, I'm sorry, but why does the Wildlife Service care about an accidental drowning?" Sheriff Jake inquired as we entered the room.

"You sure it's accidental? Will Carlton saw something grab his sister." Sam replied, making me sit down.

"M'fine!" I protested, but I was forced to sit by Dean's firm hand on my shoulder.

"Like what?" Jake asked, giving me a strange look as I stared intensely at the wall clock over his shoulder.

"Shhh," I giggled. "I'm going to win the staring contest."

"There are no indigenous carnivores in that lake," The sheriff insisted. "There's nothing even big enough to pull down a person, unless it was the Loch Ness Monster."

"Yeah," Dean laughed. "Right."

Sam gave a quick glance in my direction where I was fiddling with my cast.

"Will Carlton was traumatized, and sometimes the mind plays tricks. Still—" Jake sighed. "We dragged that entire lake. We even ran a sonar sweep, just to be sure, and there was nothing down there."

"That's weird, though, I mean, that's, that's the third missing body this year." Dean pointed out.

"I know. These are people from my town. These are people I care about." Sheriff Jake shook his head sadly.

For a second, I thought I saw Gabrielle over his shoulder and I let out a small squeak.

"I know." Dean said, giving me a worried look.

"Anyway..." Jake trailed off. "All this...it won't be a problem much longer."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"Well, the dam, of course." Jake said as though everyone knew that.

"Of course, the dam. It's, uh, it sprung a leak." Dean guessed.

"It's falling apart, and the feds won't give us the grant to repair it, so they've opened the spillway. In another six months, there won't be much of a lake. There won't be much of a town, either. But as Federal Wildlife, you already knew that." Jake shrugged.

"Exactly." Dean nodded, completely lying through his teeth.

A woman tapped on the glass, behind her was a little boy, probably not much older than five or six. He was pale and had red hair that made me think instantly of Gabrielle. I had to choke back tears when they entered the room.

"Sorry, am I interrupting?" The woman asked sweetly. "I can come back later."

"This is my daughter." Jake said, gesturing to the woman.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Dean." Dean grinned, shaking her hand.

"Andrea Barr. Hi." She replied distractedly.

"Hi." I said.

"They're from the Wildlife Service. About the lake. And this one's their sister, they're taking care of her while she's on pain meds I think." Jake explained.

"Oh." Said Andrea quietly.

The little red-headed kid walked around to the front of Andrea's skirt, but kept clinging to it.

"Oh, hey there. What's your name?" Dean asked kindly.

The little boy shuffled away shyly and Andrea followed.

"His name is Lucas." Jake sighed.

I looked over to the next room to see Andrea handing Lucas a box of crayons.

"Is he okay?" Sam inquired quietly.

"My grandson's been through a lot. We all have." Jake mumbled. "Well, if there's anything else I can do for you, please let me know."

We stood up and left the office, me hobbling along and trying my hardest not to pass out. The medication they gave me made me have extremely vivid hallucinations, but it did jack shit for my pain.

"Thanks. You know, now that you mentioned it, could you point us in the direction of a reasonably priced motel?" Dean asked, putting a hand on my shoulder to keep me from going out the door.

"Lakefront Motel. Go around the corner. It's about two blocks south." Andrea said offhandedly.

"Two—would you mind showing us?" Dean grinned sheepishly.

"You want me to walk you two blocks?" Andrea laughed.

"Not if it's any trouble." Dean shrugged.

"Dummy, she isn't gonna walk you two blocks." I chuckled, picking at the handle of my crutch. He shot me a glare which made me laugh more.

"I'm headed that way anyway." Andrea smirked. "I'll be back to pick up Lucas at three. We'll go to the park, okay, sweetie?"

She kissed him on the forehead and we left the building together.

"Thanks again." Sam called over his shoulder.

"So, cute kid." Dean began.

"Thanks." Andrea smirked.

We crossed the street and I would've fallen flat on my face if Sam hadn't been there to catch me.

"M'fine. Sammy. How many times I gotta tell ya I don't need your help." I grumbled as he helped me back up.

"Right." He snorted.

"Kids are the best, huh?" Dean chuckled awkwardly.

She ignored him, smiling softly.

"There it is. Like I said, two blocks." She said, pointing to the motel. There was a bright purple neon sign that declared it the "Lakefront Motel."

"Thanks." Sam replied, walking me to the desk.

"Must be hard, with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line," She laughed, talking to Dean. "Enjoy your stay!"

"'Kids are the best'? You don't even like kids." Sam grinned.

"I love kids." Dean insisted.

"Name three children that you even know." Sam snorted.

Dean was stuck. If he named three, we'd have to tell him about New Orleans, but if he didn't, Sam's point would be proven.

"I'm thinking!" He called after us, rushing to catch up.

* * *

Dean got us a room while Sam got the car, so I was left to do whatever for a few minutes. I limped to the soda machine and pulled out a dollar bill to buy myself a coke. Coca-cola had been the one constant in my life that wasn't my brothers or our car. It never changed, burgers were close, but the quality differed so much that it wasn't much of a comfort. If I told anyone they would probably think I was crazy, but I found comfort in the fizzy beverage.

"Hey kiddo, room 107, come on." Dean pointed down the walkway. If it had been anyone else he probably would've clapped me on the shoulder, but I was extremely glad he didn't.

"M'kay." I mumbled, handing him the soda can and hopping over.

Dean opened the door and I immediately collapsed in a chair. I hurt all over, and was so tired I could probably fall asleep right then and there. I sipped my soda slowly and had a staredown with the clock on the wall.

"You ever notice that sunburst clock seems to be in every motel across the country?" I pointed to the metallic spiky clock.

"Huh. You're right." Dean chuckled, returning to his phone. He looked like he was checking his messages or something.

"What if it's following us." I whispered, widening my eyes and continuing to stare.

"Okay then. Hey, no caffine with your meds." He snapped, stealing the coke can from me.

"I was pretty much done anyways." I shrugged. Sam chose that moment to open the door.

"Hey, throw me Al's bag?" Dean asked. It hit him full in the chest. "Ow."

He pulled my pain medication out of the bag and popped the proper dose into the cap.

"Here you go." He said. I took the cap and stole my coke back, there was still a little left.

"I'm gonna take a nap," I yawned. "Wake me up if anything interesting happens."

"Alright. We'll probably just let you sleep 'till tomorrow if you can. You need a lot more sleep than you've been getting, little sister." Dean insisted, letting me lean against him on my way to the bed.

"You noticed." I complained.

"Duh, you wake up every night at like, three and you're up before Sam, which means you don't go back to sleep." Dean replied, pulling back the blankets for me.

I lay down and fell asleep almost instantly, not even having enough time to really register what he'd just said.

* * *

_The attackers were the same as before, Gabrielle looked beautiful as she'd always been other than her bloody and matted hair. When she had been alive her hair had been softer than silk and smelled of pine. Jess was still burned, but pretty underneath the angry red patches that covered most of her body. Roy was still Roy, and his neck was still bent at a painful angle._

_"I know, I know I should have saved you please just, for one night. Stop!" I pleaded, tears streaming down my face. At least in my dreams my ankle, head, and arm were fine._

_"You don't deserve that. You know it. We wouldn't be telling you if you didn't already believe it- What's that? No, we can't-" They were cut off by TV static filling my head.  
_

_"What the hell-?" I mumbled._

_"Alice Winchester?" A voice called. It was wavering and nervous, like a guy who didn't have much confidence._

_"What?" I whimpered, hoping it wasn't another tormentor. _

_"Why is she so important? She's just Sam and Dean's sister- Oh. She is? I thought Sam was the one who- I understand. When will we go?" It said. The voice sounded like I was hearing only one half of a conversation._

_"Hello? Mr. Voice-dude? Can you be quieter please, I just want some rest." I asked. The voice was so loud my ears felt like they were going to bleed._

_"Why are you telling me now if she won't be in Hell for a year and a half yet? What do you mean she needs help? Her brothers are the Winchesters." The voice demanded._

_"WOULD YOU TALK TO ME? WHY CAN I HEAR YOU?" I screamed._

_"Ma'am she's responding what should we do?" He asked, sounding panicked._

_"Wake her up! Wake her up! She isn't supposed to know!" Another voice, this one female, shrieked._

I sat straight up in bed, trying to catch my breath. That had been a seriously wacked-out dream.

"Alice, you're up." Dean said from the other bed. My eyes focused and I saw he was watching TV.

"How long was I out?" I demanded, throwing the blankets off of my legs and trying to stand up. I forgot that one ankle was sprained and fell, landing on my bad arm. Exactly my luck. I moaned in pain and tried to roll over.

"Careful!" He exclaimed, scooping me up and sitting me on the bed.

"How long was I out?" I repeated.

"Almost a whole day actually. I was pretty surprised." He replied, handing me a water bottle and my meds.

"Hm." I mumbled, popping the pills into my mouth and taking a swig of water.

"Something wrong?" He asked concernedly.

"Just had a weird dream." I shrugged.

"Like, vision weird or hills-are-really-alive-and-critizizing-my-fashion weird?" He chuckled.

"I was having my usual nightmare, and then it got interuppted by this guy talking to someone about me. For a while I couldn't hear the other person, so it was really strange. He said, Dean, he said something about me being in Hell in a year and a half. And that I needed help, but he didn't think I did because I'm related to you and Sam." I shook my head.

"Huh, that's pretty weird. What have you done to go to Hell anyways? I mean, some drugs and a few mistakes doesn't really constitute doin' the hellfire rumba for all eternity." Dean reasoned.

"Yeah, I must get into some pretty heavy shit this year." I agreed.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Sam swung the door open.

"So, I think it's safe to say we can rule out Nessie." He joked.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

Sam closed the door and sat down at the table, flipping open his computer.

"I just drove past the Carlton house. There was an ambulance there. Will Carlton is dead." Sam replied, staring at the screen.

"He drowned?" I inquired.

"Yep. In the sink." Sam sighed, glancing over to us. I snatched my crutches from the side of the bed and successfully limped to the door.

"Where are you going?" Dean demanded.

"To the diner, I haven't eaten in two days." I called over my shoulder.

"Not on your own you aren't." He replied, swinging a jacket over his shoulders and opening the door for me.

"I'm not a little kid, Dean." I grumbled.

"Well you've sure been acting like one." He snapped.

"Dean!" Sam exclaimed, following him out the door and shutting it behind him.

"Well it's true! Before the Wendigo attacked, you started a fight over dad's book!" Dean defended.

"You didn't stop me!" I retorted angrily.

"Will you two cut it out?" Sam growled. "I'm sick of you two fighting all the time. If I have to I'm seriously going to make you sit in that room until you work it out."

"Well you won't have to," I spat, hightailing it out of the parking lot. "Because I'm leaving, and I won't be coming back."

"Alice! Come back! Please!" Sam begged.

"Screw you!" I shouted, not even bothering to look behind me.

* * *

Somehow I wound up at a bar. Checking my pockets I found that I had my fake creditcard, well over $200 in cash, and my ID. I hobbled into the dive and sat down on a rickety stool.

"What can I get for ya doll?" The sleezy barman asked, sizing me up.

"The strongest stuff you got." I replied shortly.

"Here you go." He said, slapping a martini glass down in front of me.

"What makes you want to drink yourself away? If it's the pain then I got somethin' better than that." A young girl with black hair and bright blue eyes suggested, lowering her voice so that the bartender wouldn't hear her.

"What do you have?" I mumbled quickly. I knew I shouldn't drink or take anything because I knew how disappointed Dean would be, but there was an extremely loud and convincing voice in my head that told me I _needed _this more than him.

"Everything. What do you want?" She smirked.

"I'll take some Adderall and Heroin if you got it." I grinned, taking a huge swig of the drink. I grimaced and glanced at the bottle the creepy guy had left on the table, it was Everclear 190 which I'd thought was illegal in this state.

"No problem, meet me out behind back when you're done and we'll talk." She whispered, sliding off her stool and walking away.

I drained my glass and slapped a ten on the bar.

"Keep the change." I called behind me as I followed her out the door. My vision was starting to blur and I felt very pleasantly drunk, I even wound up stumbling a few times on the way out.

"So, I'll need about $150 for all that, and maybe a kiss?" She pouted once the door had closed.

"You got it hot stuff." I slurred, pulling the cash out of my wallet. I handed the money to her and slid the wallet back into my bra as she pulled me into a deep kiss.

"Thanks, sweetheart." She purred, handing me my drugs before walking away.

"Thank _you._" I chuckled. I leaned against the wall and rolled up my sleeve. The shot shook in my hand as I uncapped the syringe.

_Should I really do this? What will Dean think of me after this?_ I thought. _Who cares what he thinks of you! You love this, you _need _this. You don't need Dean, and he sure as Hell doesn't need you! Remember how he called you a child._ The other, more convincing part of me said. I steadied myself and stuck myself with the needle. I pushed in the plunger. It was better than I could even remember, I was completely at peace for the first time in two years. My arms and legs felt heavy, but I was relaxed and extremely happy.

I sat there in the alley, grinning like a madman until night fell. I decided I should probably get a room for the night as I would have a hangover in the morning so I walked to the motel, completely forgetting about my crutch as I couldn't feel pain.

"One room please." I said, handing my card to the guy at the desk.

"Didn't you check in yesterday with two guys?" He asked warily, ringing up the card anyways.

"No, I just got here." I lied as he handed me a room key and my card.

"Have a nice night then Miss Heathgard." He nodded. I walked to my room and as I sat on the bed I began to think about how I was going to get my stuff, or a car since Dean would be able to find me too quickly if I stole the Impala. I shoved those thoughts out of my head because I felt sick to my stomach, it was like when I had the flu when I was a kid and puked for three days straight.

I limped to the toilet, the pain starting to return to me, and threw up, emptying my guts out into the toilet. I seriously regretted my decision to abandon my brothers as I hurled again, getting chunks of whatever it was I'd eaten two days ago in my hair. The door burst open behind me and I would've breathed a sigh of relief if I hadn't been puking again.

"Alice Henrietta Winchester, I swear to God if you ever do that again I will personally murder you." Dean swore, spotting me hunched over the toilet and pulling my hair back.

"Where were you? We were worried sick!" Sam sighed. "Where's your crutch?"

"Alley. Behind," I threw up again. "Bar."

"You drank didn't you!" Dean accused, tying my hair into a loose ponytail.

"Thanks mom." I snapped.

"Watch your mouth." He retorted.

"I'll go get your crutch, pick me up at the bar in five okay?" Sam said, closing the door behind him.

"Thanks." I replied feebly before returning to emptying my stomach, though what was left I had no idea.

"You need a hospital dude, you're going to die. How much did you drink anyways?" Dean demanded, handing me a glass of water to sip.

"Just one martini," I answered truthfully. "Uh, though it was made of Everclear 190."

"I thought that shit was illegal! Jesus Christ Al, I'm never letting you out of my sight again." He groaned.

_Man, if this is how he's reacting there's no telling how he'd react if he knew about the smack._ I thought.

"The what? Fucking- I thought you were past this! Two years clean Alice! Does that mean nothing to you!?" He barked.

"Did I say that out loud?" I mumbled. "Shit."

"Come on, let's go, we'll talk about this with Sam." He grumbled, picking me up like a small toddler. "If only Lucas had drawn something about this..."

"What?" I asked.

"Lucas draws pictures related to stuff that's going to happen. He's pretty good at it too." Dean shrugged.

* * *

"I'm not sorry." I said, once Sam climbed into the car.

"Sorry about what?" Sam asked, handing me my crutch.

"She fell off the wagon, Sam. And she probably needs to go to the hospital now." Dean snapped, glaring at me.

"What did you do Alice? And what do you mean you aren't sorry?" Sam demanded. He turned in his seat to face me and I looked to the floor. I hadn't even thought about how Sam would react, all I'd thought about was that what Dean wanted didn't mean jack shit to me and I could do what I wanted.

"I took smack and drank an Everclear martini." I muttered, unable to face either of them now that Sam was giving me a heartbroken look. No need to tell them about the Adderall, they would just take it from me.

"You what?!" He shrieked. "Alice I thought you were okay! Two years! You were doing so good."

"Yeah I know, I'm a disappointment to the whole family. I get it. Spare me the fucking speech." I spat.

"I would call dad if I could get through. You're going back to rehab if you do that again." Dean warned.

"Fine." I shrugged. I could refuse treatment, but if Dean or Sam or dad got a court order I was screwed.

We drove to an intersection for I-43 towards Milwaukee and when the Impala pulled to a stop, I fell asleep.

* * *

_"You fell off the wagon, bitch." Gabrielle sneered, scratching sharp nails over my face._

_"So?" I demanded, trying my damn hardest to ignore the pain._

_"You're a disgrace. A felon. An addict. A murderer. You're everything you never wanted to be. Everything your parents hoped you wouldn't be. The only worse thing you could do is become a prostitute and we all know you've even done that a few times." Jess grinned._

_"I couldn't care less what my father thinks of me!" I cried._

_"Yes, but you care about your mother's thoughts. Why don't we talk to her about your behavior?" Roy snarled._

_"Oh dearest Alice, my how you've grown!" A blonde woman I recognized as Mary, my mother, from photographs crooned._

_"Mommy?" I choked back a sob._

_"I'm very disappointed in you Alice, all those drugs, all that drinking. So many lies and secrets. Does little Dean even know how much you've done for another fix? You killed that man Alice. That wasn't. Very. Nice." She spat, rubbing a hand on my face before slapping it so hard I saw stars._

_"Mom no, please." I begged._

_"I never loved you. Not like I loved your brothers. You were always a disgrace, I knew you would bring this family nothing but shame and heartbreak!" She shrieked, breaking my nose and cheekbone with a heavy punch._

_"I know. I never should have taken it. I don't know what made me." I sobbed._

_"Oh, sorry are you? That doesn't mean anything. You aren't really. You're just itchin' for another fix, hoping that Dean will take his eyes off of you so you can buy more, or take what you have." She laughed, holding me up by the front of my shirt._

_"I'm not I promise! I'll throw everything away! I'll burn it all!" I insisted._

_"EMPTY PROMISES! ALL OF THEM! YOU SHOULD JUST KILL YOURSELF YOU MISERABLE. LYING. CHEATING. WHORE." She screamed._

_"I will, I will. In the morning I will. The second Dean turns his back on me I'll put a bullet through my brain." I promised._

_"You better." They all chorused._

"Hey, wake up." Dean said, flicking water from his sleeves onto my face.

"Why are you all soaked?" I croaked.

"Rescued Lucas from the lake. The sheriff's dead, the spirit dragged him under. It should be over now. We've been talking to the paramedics for about an hour now." He replied. Sam opened my door and helped me out so that Dean could change in the back.

"Sam can I have your gun?" I asked very suddenly.

"Why?" He inquired warily.

"I want to put a bullet in my skull." I mumbled.

"I'm not going to let you kill yourself Al, that's like the opposite of my job as your brother." Sam snapped.

"Fine, I'll just do it when you leave me by myself." I sighed.

"Then we aren't leaving you anywhere with something you could kill yourself with." He replied as Dean slid out of the car, ruffling his hair with a towel.

"Did you leave your wet clothes all over the backseat?" I groaned.

"No, I got 'em right here. Put them in the trunk, would you?" Dean threw the towel and clothes at me.

"I don't think it's a good idea to let her near anything dangerous for a while." Sam said, taking the damp pile from me before I could protest.

"How come? And that's gonna be a little hard considering our whole lives are dangerous." Dean joked.

"She said she wants to put a bullet in her skull Dean. She was just asking me for my gun." Sam retorted, slamming the trunk.

"Hey careful with the car!" I complained.

"Great, so now I can't save the Sheriff, and I can't save my baby sister either?" Dean glowered.

"Look, we're not gonna save everybody." I began.

"I know, but it hurts worse when I can't save one of the few people I really care about, so I'm going to do my best to keep you alive, whether you like it or not." Dean said, closing the conversation for good.

"Sam, Dean. Alice right?" Andrea asked, walking up to us with Lucas close behind.

"Hey." Dean grinned, his mood immediately changing.

"We're glad we caught you. We just, um, we made you lunch for the road." Andrea said sheepishly.

She motioned to Lucas who was holding up a tray of sandwiches.

"Lucas insisted on making the sandwiches himself." She explained.

"Can I give it to them now?" Lucas whined. I was a little shocked to hear him speaking.

"Of course." Andrea chuckled, smiling and kissing the top of Lucas' head.

"Come on, Lucas, let's load this into the car." Dean suggested, patting him on the shoulder and leading him to the passenger seat.

"How you holding up?" Sam inquired.

"It's just gonna take a long time to sort through everything, you know?" Andrea sighed.

"Andrea, I'm sorry." He replied earnestly.

"You saved my son. I can't ask for more than that. Dad loved me. He loved Lucas. No matter what he did, I just have to hold on to that." She shook her head.

"All right, if you're gonna be talking now, this is a very important phrase, so I want you to repeat it one more time." Dean told Lucas.

"Zeppelin rules!" Lucas beamed.

"That's right. Up high," Dean said. "You take care of your mom, okay?"

"All right." Lucas agreed.

"Thank you." Andrea told Dean before kissing him on the lips. I turned away and put my crutch in the backseat.

"Be good Lucas, okay? And if you like drawing, keep it up. Dean tells me you're a really good artist." I insisted.

"Really? Thanks miss." He grinned.

"Sam, Alice, move your asses. We're gonna run out of daylight before we hit the road." Dean joked, clambering into the front seat.

"Dean watch your language!" I chastised, climbing in anyways.

"Sorry." He mumbled, turing on the car.

It was quiet in the car for a long time.

"So," Dean began, finally breaking the silence. "Are you going to admit that killing yourself is a dumb idea, or are we going to have to keep you away from hunts for a while?"

"That's not fair!" I complained.

"I think it's pretty fair, don't you Sam?" Dean turned his head to glare at Sam as if saying 'you better agree with me or you're toast'.

"Yeah, kinda. Decreases the chance of you pulling some self-sacrificing bullshit." Sam mused.

"Thanks, its so nice to know that you have so much faith in me." I mumbled.

I pressed my forehead to the cool glass and refused to talk to them so eventually Dean popped a tape in to fill the deafening silence.

_This is going to be a long car ride._ I thought.

* * *

**M'kay so this was hella short compared to the others, but it's mainly original content. Let me know if you have any ideas for what is to happen in future episodes, and if you have any constructive criticism that would be great.**


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